Quotes About Humor

I was already in my early twenties, but I looked much younger because I was fresh-faced and, well, short. So I did songs such as 'Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah' and jokes such as describing current events as 'ancient history.' Boy, did the audience roar at that one.

To me, the funniest American of the Twentieth Century is Richard Nixon because he had the most to hide, and he was so bad at hiding it. To me, that's what's really funny - people who think they're doing a great job of hiding stuff, and it just keeps leaking out.

Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value.

Eventually I was saying to myself, maybe it would be better, instead of trying to become an American comedian in France, to mix those two styles and those two genres. Because of course it's good to be efficient and sharp, and to have a joke every twenty seconds, but it can be a little cold and dry.

What I'd really like to write is a romantic comedy. This is my favorite kind of movie. I feel almost embarrassed revealing this, because the genre has been so degraded in the past twenty years that saying you like romantic comedies is essentially an admission of mild stupidity.

Here are the facts: my folks grew up so poor that, in the words of Redd Foxx, there were twenty o's between the p and r.

I lasted seven years as a journalist, and I've been doing comedy for twenty years.

I'm not a comic. There's twenty five percent of me that doesn't trust people who identify as comics.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.

Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.

I lost 'The X Factor,' and I lost 'Deal or No Deal' twice. I'm good at losing game shows.

Comedy is surprise. Comedy is not something that you can, necessarily, do twice.

Everyone ought to wish to marry; some ought to be allowed to marry; and others ought to marry twice - to make the average good.

This satire business, that was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. I was certified funny. From then on, I had to be funny - people expected it. Twice the work for the same pay.

I remember a kid throwing an orange at the back of my head in Spanish class and calling me four-eyes, and I remember saying, I said, 'That's true, and I have two more eyes than you.' I felt like it was better. If I have four eyes, I'm twice as good as you.

I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I'm in there sometimes twice a day.

My arms are like twigs.

I was obsessed with 'Twilight.' I love the very, very serious drama of Bella and Edward. They were the most serious people in the world, with the worst senses of humor.

Now people are coming up to meet me at my shows and they're doing my bits! One guy earlier was at 7-11 and he comes up to me and goes "you want a falcon?".

Drama is not my passion. If I do it, it's for a check. It's not what I want to do. Comedy's my thing. Stand up's my thing. Everything that comes from that is frosting on the cake.

The one thing you don't want to be is a sucky clean comic. I hate sucky clean comics! It's like Christian rock, bro. I'd rather listen to gospel and Christian rock. That's cheating!

People are often surprised by the fact that I laugh a lot, that I look like Lena Dunham, and that I don't want to make relationship dramas for the rest of my career.

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.