Quotes About Humor

Oh, I would while away the hours, Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song, I'd be gliding all the lilies as I waved about my willie, If I only had a schlong.

Why is it one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere, but one must busta cap in someone's ass?

Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.

No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture.

OMFGEIGHTPOUNDBABYJESUSONAPOGOSTICK WHAT?

I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir, may I offer you this moist, yet helpless va-jay-jay that seems to have lost its way. -The Chronicles of Abby Normal

Christopher Moore

I'll bet he was myrrh. Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me.

So I am death Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast. This is death toast sweety.

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.

What is your name? asked Lear. Caius, said Kent. And whence do you hail? From Bonking, sire. Well, yes, lad, as do we all, said Lear, but from what town?

as if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off.

Christopher Moore

Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.

All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?

Do we still have to floss? Tommy asked. I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?

And so Charlie Asher . . . led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Fransciso.

I was all, Oh, dog, Countess gonna crack open a forty of whup-ass on you now. Oh, you in the sh*t now, wigga! (I am not incline to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French, it just better expresses the sentiment of the moment.) -Abby

It's about average for us. Behavior always draws more than survey. We're the sexy ones,' Nate said with a grin. Amy snorted. 'Oh, yeah, you guys are the Mae Wests of the nerd world.' We're action nerds,' Nate said. 'Adventure nerds. Nerds of romance.

Will there be heinous fuckery, Pocket?

Kayso, Foo finally came home and I jumped into his arms and sort of rode him to the ground with a massive tongue kiss so deep that I could taste the burned cinnamon toast of his soul, but then I slapped him, so he didn't think I was a slut. (Shut up, he had wood.) --Being the Journal of Abby Normal

Inside, I was like: Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter!

We really have to get going, Sam said. Can we leave the car here and pick it up later? The monk said, Does a dog have a Buddha nature? Does a fish have a watertight asshole? said Coyote.

Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy