Quotes About Humor

I nickname my cars. Most of the time, it doesn't make any sense. One of my Benzes I call Justin Bieber. My Maybach is Oprah.

I might literally fall over dead if I meet Oprah Winfrey. I'm kind of joking, but I'm not confident that wouldn't happen.

Some people think the world will end in 2012. I think we've got until 2014. I'm an optimist.

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.

But I'm kind of comfortable with getting older because it's better than the other option, which is being dead. So I'll take getting older.

I'm kind of comfortable with getting older because it's better than the other option, which is being dead. So I'll take getting older.

Many comedians and comedy writers have shared the childhood experience of learning to joke to protect themselves from neighborhood bullies when challenge or physical defense were not among the sensible options.

On 'Richard And Judy' I dressed up as an orange for Fruit Awareness Week.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I wasn't born, I was ordered from room service.

My specialties include macaroni and cheese and ordering Chinese-food delivery.

There are people who like just ordinary comedy fun, and making mistakes - which I do easily - and then there are people who like the falling over.

When I die, I'll probably climb out of the coffin and play the organ at my own funeral!

I definitely want people to laugh because I don't think there's a better feeling - I think it's just so fabulous to laugh. I don't mind if people think, either. I think the brain is a very sexy organ.

Stand-up is more of an organic process. An imagined dialogue with the audience.

One host I love watching is Billy Crystal. His hosting was never scripted, it was organic.

In comedy you have to be prepared and be specific and have a vision so your comedy feels organic and relatable and it's a lot of work to get to that point.

As far as how I approach the humor, I think the best comedy is going to happen when I'm myself and act organically to a news item or situation.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.

The original 'Scream' is one of those classic things, but it totally pokes fun at itself too. It's never taking itself too seriously, which is why I think it's such a cult classic.

For years, I had a Christmas ornament I had bought at a Cracker Barrel that read 'Deck Them Halls, Y'all.' It always tickled me.

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

Every time we get into an argument about cooking or laundering shirts, she shakes her Oscar at me, and I'm dead in the water. It would be a great equalizer now after 33 years.