Quotes About Humor

Hi, Drew." "You know, these thirty-second dates are getting pretty serious. I was thinking we should probably cool it a little.

It was good to see her laugh. Even if it was at me.

If you make a fool of yourself in front of a cat, he will sneer at you, if you are sober; he will leave the room if you are drunk. If you make a fool of yourself in front a dog, he will make a fool of himself, too.

We must all start with the believable. That is the essence of our craft. All drama, all comedy, all artistry stems from the believable, which gives us as solid a rock as anyone could ask from which to seek humor.

If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.

When people ask me how old I am, I tell them I'm 39–with 25 years of experience.

Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?

Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humour left.

Life is so funny ..you spend half of your days growing up,and the remaining half making up

The girl must be looking for another hot-fudge shower," Ellen said. Then she, too, advanced on Leesha.

Nah," Han said, falling into his old habit of making a bad situation worse.

Cat scowled at him. 'Why would I say anything about you? You think the whole world's sniffing your butt?

Pirates having a tea party? Not possible.

She spotted Cam Staunton in his dress blues, scouting the dessert table. As she watched, he scooped up two biscuits and stuffed them into his mouth. When he turned and saw Lyss watching, his face went scarlet, which contrasted nicely with the powdered sugar around his mouth.

Han was thinking he was just as likely to shoot flames from his rear end.

Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband About 30 pounds.

Here's the deal. I get to marry you. You get to become a Garrett - although, considering what you're marrying into, I'm not certain that's much of an incentive." Dallas to Amy

Now let's try that again. Ask my wife nice, and maybe I'll let you sleep in the same bed as your teeth tonight.

What, no Power Rangers Band-Aids ?" "Shut up, Garett." "Yes, ma'am.

Scarface, Boxer, and Rambo. She couldn't have gotten Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod? she wondered with a desperate kind of hysteria. Moe, Larry, and Curly? The Three Amigos? Rambo tugged a length of rope out of his hip pocket, handed his rifle to Boxer and grabbed her wrist.

Hilary says to her sister, "You can't eat only pie for lunch." "Just watch me." Lily plucks her ukulele out of the tote bag at her feet and strums it, singing, "Pie is fine. It's very nice/ Especially with lots of spice/ Like cinnamon and ginger too/ My sis would like it, but she's a poo." "Oh, well, that's brilliant," Hilary says. "Taylor Swift must be looking over her shoulder.

Isabella: "Why are you being so mean to me?" Harry: "Because i love you" Isabella: "Does that ever work?" Harry: "On my mother it does." Isabella: "I'm not your mother." Harry: "I know that already, because I'm enjoying your company.

I just called you corny and said you were wearing a green dress. That's, like, the least flirtatious thing anyone's ever said." "I'm willing to believe it's the least flirtatious thing you've ever said." "Why are you so hard on me when I'm so nice to you?" "Why are you so nice to me when I'm so hard on you?