Quotes About Humor

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people.

People know me as just this handsome guy - a very handsome guy. But I can also be funny and fun.

My philosophy is, it's always very rewarding when you can make an audience laugh. I don't mind making fun of myself. I like self-deprecating comedy. But I'd like you to laugh with me occasionally, too.

I am a great believer that your humor is developed at a very early age, and it doesn't ever change. You're basically the same person forever, so you find the same stuff funny forever.

When I was a little boy, I was fascinated by the way my dad used to laugh at the telly, and from a very early age, I had an idea of what was funny and why people laughed.

When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke.

I wanted to be a vet before I got into comedy, but then once I found out how much gore goes into that job, I wanted nothing to do with it.

I spent a week in Wensleydale with a real vet called Jack Watkinson, living with him and going out on calls at 4 A. M. Sticking my hand up cows' bums became second nature. I got really good at it.

I've always loved the idea of the rookie cop vs. the grizzled veteran. A lot of comedy can be mined from that.

If I could stomach the awful part of being a veterinarian, which involves sticking your hand up animals' behinds, I would be a vet.

You can get away with making some extremely bold statements by Trojan Horsing them into a narrative via comedy.

What I love is the comedy of the body. It's a little highfalutin', but you can even say pre-verbal comedy. People laugh differently at stuff that isn't brought to them via the spoken word. It's from a different place; it's a different quality of laughter.

The joke I always make is I'm either running for reelection, running for Senate, running for governor, or running for my life. The latter is also a viable possibility.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I remember the 'Jenny McCarthy Show' being kind of funny, and I remember her being just like one of the boys. I remember her being counter to everything I thought girls should be on TV, or whatever. I kind of liked her vibe.

I'm all about people that appreciate, that are grateful, that smile, that have a sense of humour - the dirtier the laugh, the better- that's my kind of vibe... and I hope that's the kind of thing that I attract.

Even in my stand-up, there's a lot more positivity and enthusiasm rather than negative, I-hate-everything vibes.

My mother was Irish; she had this great sense of humor, and both my parents loved films. There was a very vibrant discourse about politics and everything that was going on in the world where I grew up. So I was genetically predisposed to go into the performing arts.

I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.

In general, comedians are attracted to vice.

When I got nominated class clown in school, I remember my mom said, 'Don't be no clown.' So I went to my vice principal in my school and said, 'Can we change this to just the funniest?'

Adam Hess - he thinks that if you swallow enough chewing gum you go from being left-handed to being right-handed, and vice versa, but he is my best friend anyway.

I'm a diplomat by nature. I help find the middle ground. I crack a joke and use humour to help resolve potentially vicious situations quickly. It gets things in perspective and helps everyone to see that things aren't as bad as they seem.

I can't do comedy that is cutting and vicious. If I knew I'd said something that was going to make someone feel bad, well, that supersedes everything.