Quotes About Humor

Your grandfather was a piece of work," I told Xander. He picked up a fourth scone. "I agree. In his honor, I eat this scone." He did just that.

Oh God. I'm jealous of farts.

Ouch!" The manicurist who'd just relieved me of part of my cuticle submerged my feet in bubbling water. Hot water. "Oh, hush," Lily said. "It feels good. Beauty is pain." "Pain," I gritted out, "is also pain.

Putting pants on a dog was not what one would call "easy". Putting pants on a purebred, hundred-pound Bernese mountain dog who was fairly certain she did not want to wear pants could have substituted for one of the twelve labors of Hercules.

Adopting my haughtiest look, I leaned toward my sister and raised my warm nuts high.

Remind me to mock you for saying that later," Jameson told him.

Seriously?" Xander wheezed. "You're playing strip bowling without me? Never mind. Focus! This is me focusing.

Lucian [of Samosata; 120-190 CE] was trying to make his audience laugh, rather than start a revolution

You're probably better at math than I am, because pretty much everyone's better at math than I am, but it's okay, I'm fine with it. See, I excel at other, more important things—guitar, sex, and consistently disappointing my dad, to name a few.

This is followed by laughter because we're in high school, which means we're predictable and almost everything is funny, especially if it's someone else's public humiliation.

It's okay to laugh, you know. The earth's not going to split open. You're not going to hell. Believe me. If there's a hell, I'll be there ahead of you, and they'll be too busy with me to even check you in.

I wanted to write something tough, hard, sad, but funny.

Like most people in the Midwest, Embryo doesn't believe in humor, especially when it pertains to sensitive subjects.

Do I feel I should be punished? Yes. Why else would I have given myself bangs?

Have you ever done something you regretted?' 'Does last year's school picture counts?

Cheeky wanker." He calls me this even though I'm no longer British.

She wondered what he looked like with his hat off and wondered again if he knew he was funny.

know what happens when you play a country tune backwards? You get your girl and your truck back, you're not drunk anymore and your hound dog comes back to life." She

You know what happens when you play a country tune backwards? You get your girl and your truck back, you're not drunk anymore and your hound dog comes back to life.

You know what happens when you play a country tune backwards? You get your girl and your truck back, you're not drunk anymore and your hound dog comes back to life." She said, "I was born in Nashville

Why do guys love to fart?" "They're expressing themselves.

He's male. I've noticed that sometimes the brains simply get left out of the package.

I do believe that his given name is something odd. Peregrine, Penrose- Piers, that's it. He sounds like a dock. Lord Sundron put in. Mrs. Hutchins called me a light frigate this morning, Linnet said a dock might be just the thing for me.

Piers looked up at him. 'You're new. What's your name?' 'Neythen, my lord.' 'Sounds like a terrible illness. No, more like a bowel problem. I'm sorry, Lord Sandys, your son has contracted neythen and won't live a month. No, no, there's nothing I can do. Sandys would have preferred hearing that to syphilis.