Quotes About Humor

My movie career - if such a thing even exists - is laughable.

It's such a thing now, people making fun of other people on the Internet.

There used to be such a thing as a sick joke, or laughing at misfortune, because comedy and laughter are a way of coping. And there is a kind of cruelty to it, but you can separate finding something horrible funny, and what you really think of it.

I feel really comfortable with going for the reality of the drama, but I'm not much for the comedy of it. You have to make people laugh, or you have to be true to the character in such a way that makes people laugh. It's a whole different thing.

I'm not actually very good at the maintenance thing. I don't buff, exfoliate, pluck, rinse, moisturise, suck, bleach... whatever all those women do.

I've written for every medium except poetry, at which I suck.

Many, many years ago, I stood on the stage and told bad jokes and did Sophie Tucker as an impersonation, and nobody looked up; and suddenly, I looked down and said, 'Sir, I'm getting fed up with you. Either you watch, or I'm going to suck your neck,' or words to that effect, and suddenly people started to laugh.

I'm not green-fingered, I'm grey-fingered. I suck the life out of plants.

My nickname was Liz Lemon. When I would go for a takedown or get in there to 'ground and pound,' I would make this disgustingly horrible face like I sucked on a lemon.

I'm a sucker for a good sense of humor.

You know what, I'm very attracted to someone who makes me laugh and is that charming. Really, I could be charmed by anyone. I'm just a sucker for somebody that is charming.

I'm a big sucker for chocolate, and I love beer, but I can't drink it because it goes straight to my face like the Michelin Man.

I'm a sucker for 'Jeremy Kyle,' sad as it sounds. I just go home and watch that, or whatever the missus is watching.

Over the years, I've learned that a sense of humor is the only skill that allows you to turn sucking at life into a career.

'Baywatch' sucks so bad. I didn't watch it the first time around; I'm sure not going to buy a DVD. But really, you just kind of find out the categories of what's most foolish about these people. With Hasselhoff, it's obviously the huge man-tits with chest hair, probably a lot about his crappy acting, obviously the hamburger video - that's huge.

I love the Comedy Cellar. The audience has no expectations because they don't know me. It's great. It's only winning - if I bomb, they just say, 'Oh, the French guy sucks.' But if I do well, then they remember me.

Sudden glory is the passion which maketh those grimaces called laughter.

Let's face it: families behind closed doors are the funniest thing ever - the way people talk to each other, the way you fight for 30 seconds, and then all of a sudden you're crying. Families are just ripe for comedy.

I remember one day my son, our Robert, was looking at me on the settee and looking at me on the television, and then all of a sudden he said: 'Why don't you bring that pretty mummy home with you?' And I thought: 'Oh dear, I'm going to have to dress up at home now as well!'

I would play my Dungeons and Dragons songs and watch people's eyes glaze over, and then I would start joking around between songs, and all of a sudden people were lighting up and engaging.

'Silence Kid' starts with a broken classic-rock intro. It's funny to hear us do that. Obviously, we weren't skillful rock stars. Then it's spinning through a lot of hooks really fast, and all of a sudden, it's over.

The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it's a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he's broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it's not a joke anymore.

I once called construction companies to bid on an addition to the school library so that there would suddenly be people outside, measuring the building. 'Who authorized this?' the principal would ask. The answer: 'Howie Mandel.'

I parody myself every chance I get. I try to make fun of myself and let people know that I'm a human being, and these things that have happened to me are real. I'm not just some cartoon who exists and suddenly doesn't exist.