Quotes About Politics

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

I remain just one thing, and one thing only - and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.

I was not extremely patriotic about Mother Russia. I played their game, pretending. You have to deal with, you know, party people, KGB. Horrifying.

My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs.

An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.

Do you think George Bush actually knows who Gordon Brown is? He probably just thinks Tony Blair's put on weight and had a mild stroke.

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

An honest politician is an oxymoron.

Up to now, America has not been a good milieu for the rise of a mass movement. What starts out here as a mass movement ends up as a racket, a cult, or a corporation.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

I am on the right wing of the middle of the road and with a strong radical bias.

And, when the votes are counted, let everybody, including the candidates, get into a good humor as quick as they got into a bad one.

If Lincoln were alive today, he'd be turning over in his grave.

A lot of political people, especially people on the left, have forgotten the importance of humor as an incredible weapon, and a vehicle through which to affect change.

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.

Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.

[W]ithout humour you cannot run a sweetie-shop, let alone a nation.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.