Quotes About Misunderstanding

And the gap between what people think is wrong and what is actually wrong can be quite far indeed.

why do they think that when you are occupied reading the L.A. Times or perhaps a fine novel that in reality you are dying of loneliness and in specific need of their company?

I am convinced that grandkids are inherently evil people who tell their grandparents to "just go to the library and open up an e-mail account - it's free and so simple.

You've got that motherly concern in your eyes, Jean. I must look like I'm hammered as shit," said Locke. "Actually you look like you were executed last week.

The next person who tells me something like, "Squiggle-fuck the rightwise cock-swatter with a starboard jib," is going to get a knife to the throat.

Gods damn you, LOcke,'she whispered. The corners of her eyes glistened. 'Twice now? Look, uh, if I said the wrong thing---' 'No,' she said, wiping at her eyes, trying but failing to do so nonchalantly. 'No, the trouble is you said the right thing.

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get loaded. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door when the bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The drunk replies, "That's no lion! It's a giraffe.

A Polish man was suffering from constipation, so his doctor pre-scribed suppositories. A week later the Pole complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results. "Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked. "What do you think I've been doing," the Pole replied, "shoving them up my ass?!

A man is stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulls up and says, "Mister, I've got to take you in. You're clearly drunk." The man asks, "Officer, are you absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah," the cop says, "I'm sure. Let's go." Obviously relieved, the man says, "Thanks a million, officer. I thought I was a cripple.

Q: What is the definition of innocence? A: A nun working in a condom factory, thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic lawyer? A: He studied all year for the bra exam.

A man walks into a bar. He sees a good-looking and well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool. He walks up to her and says, "Hey, beautiful, can I buy you a drink?" She turns around and says: "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just love to do it." "No kidding?" he replies, "I'm a lawyer, too! What firm are you with?

Q: What do blondes and computers have in common? A: You never truly appreciate them until they go down on you.

Romeo and Juliet, the dyslexic version.

You think I'm some inbred trailer-trash hick that watches the Springer show?

To make matters worse, our customers don't have a very good understanding of what we do, how we do it, or why we do it—the end result is that they put unrealistic demands on us and don't give us the support that we need to accomplish their goals.

Where misunderstanding dwells, misuse will not be far behind. No theory in the history of science has been more misused and abused by cranks and charlatans—and misunderstood by people struggling in good faith with difficult ideas—than quantum mechanics.

the real world, people are not completely rational, they don't have common knowledge, they misinterpret one another, and they certainly don't start with the same priors

Half of the time I don't know what they're talking about; their jokes seem to relate to a past that everyone but me has shared. I'm a foreigner in the world and I don't understand the language.

I gave you a wrist watch, baby, and you wouldn't even give me the time of day.

So people think I'm lying about my age all the time? It's the records that are wrong!

On a trip to Israel, Sarah Palin asked the Israelis why they're apologizing all the time. They responded saying, 'Because we told everyone Tina Fey was coming.'

Sometimes when you hit send, you can imagine the message going straight into the person's heart. But other times, like this time, it feels like the words are merely falling into a well.

I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.