Quotes About Unexpected

You try almost dying, being chased, then hopping in a car with a complete (horny) stranger.

I'd say I can't catch a break, but I'm currently on the back of a zebra

Had anyone told me that my entire life would change course between one heartbeat and the next, I would have laughed. From blissful to tragic, innocent to ruined? Please. But that's all it took. One heartbeat. A blink, a breath, a second, and everything I knew and loved was gone.

William untucked the covers and stood, making a mental list of everything he'd need for the coming trip. A few blades, serrated and nonserrated. A vial of acid. A bone saw. A spiked paddle. A cat-o'-nine-tails. And a bag of Gummy Bears. Gods, but this was going to be fun.

She gave him a double-birded salute, and he barked out a rusty laugh. I'm laughing. Me. When was the last time that had happened? He couldn't remember. But she kept doing things to amuse him. Shock him, even. Like pulling out a sword and expressing a very real fear about zombies. Zombies.

He had a bleeding cut on his leg and he smelled like shit. Her nose wrinkled. "Step in something?" she asked innocently. "That I did not mind." He took a menacing step toward her. "What I did mind was being hit by a cab, then landing on the lap of a naked man. With an erection, Anya. He had an erection.

Knock him out, Paris!' 'Sure. Want me to spew diamonds from my ass while I'm at it?

Like most remarkable things, nobody realized it was remarkable as it happened.

Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind- boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.

And at that moment the alligators burst into the room.

And if she'd been able to choose her options a few hours ago, being trapped in a dead vampire's private study with an angry Fae would not have been one of them.

So much for a nice quiet evening with a good book.

What she needed was a miracle. What she got was a dragon.

Natural causes - it's all at the back of the report; she was in a traffic accident. Hit by a crashing flying sleigh. The sleigh was flying, that is, and then it crashed.' The thought gave her a little unwanted shudder. Living outside the Library was never safe. Flying sleighs could come out of nowhere and hit you, however careful you were.

I think there may be lots of different types of librarians,' Catherine said thoughtfully. She had the air of someone who'd seen a whole new range of possibilities and found she liked them more than she'd expected. 'There's the sharing librarian, and the motherly librarian, and the spinster librarian, and the archivist librarian, and the adventurous librarian like you — there's nothing that says I can't be a murderous librarian.

Then we can discuss matters—" And at that moment the alligators burst into the room.

Not many kids can say that when their toilet is stopped up, they get Seven Fingers, the ax murderer, to help them out, either.

I got to a traffic light, and it turned red. I said, "Why me?"

You have caught me, sir, like a treen in a disabled space ship

If countries were named after the words you first hear when you go there, England would have to be called "Damn It".

There is now a Starbucks in my pants.

The future has a way of arriving unannounced.

Life is full of surprises," he said. "Try to cope with grace.

How did your day go?" "I got some head. It was vamp, but still." I stared at her. Kate was the last person I would have expected to make that joke. Well, someone had loosened up since mating. "That good, huh." "Yup.