Quotes About Unexpected

Who knew hitting my head and passing out would be so much fun?

Nothing is better than the unintended humor of reality.

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.

Humor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke.

Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: "Have a drink on me." The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

I didn't notice him coming, but he didn't seem to be looking for an autograph signature

I see you brought along your violent little girlfriend. What a nice surprise!" - Saint Dane (The Reality Bug)

Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.

So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".

I spilled spot remover on my dog now he's gone.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

I brug you two [gifts] . . . I gots the little here in my pockie.' He dug one hand deep into his pocket and pulled out a handful of nuts and a dead grasshopper. 'Nope. Be the other side.' (Matt)

That awkward moment when you realize someone was actually home the whole time you were singing on the tops of your lungs.

Yeah, over my scattered panties, I asked him to dinner and told him to bring a friend." - Laney

But nowhere in the file had anyone said, "Oh, and by the way, he runs like a gazelle with an espresso addiction." At least not in the parts I'd skimmed.

Shut the front door!" Jenna exclaimed.Andrew disappeared into the foyer, and when he returned, his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. "The door is shut?

Rachel opened her mouth to respond, but the head cut her off.

The trouble with insanity is it can flare up at the most inconvenient moments.

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

You never know what you will find in your pants!

Bet you've never had a bear down your pants before. Though I'm kind of a bear in bed. (Rick from Back to Basics)

I don't remember ever signing up for weird. It just sort of happened.

I never thought the brightest smile would come from a mouth without teeth.