Quotes About Persistence

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Doing is better than not doing, and if you do something badly you'll learn to do it better.

You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms you had to fill in for stand-up, so I thought I'd give that a twist.

Today I dialed a wrong number... The other person said, "Hello?" and I said, "Hello, could I speak to Joey?"... They said, "Uh... I don't think so... he's only 2 months old." I said, "I'll wait."

A joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella.

I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).

I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all.

I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

Never buy your kid a Puzzle that you can't solve!

Every year, hundreds of thousands of people try their hand at this demanding profession (humor columnist). After a few months, almost all of them have given up and gone back to the ninth grade.

Attitude, humor and action (persistence) will whip fears and rejection. Fear of failure doesn't exist, if you believe it doesn't.

You're dead, George. You just don't have the sense to lie down.

My love, wherever you are - whatever you are - don't lose faith. I know it's gonna happen someday to you.

I did whatever it takes to do stand-up. There is an abundance of material in struggling and poverty and trying to make it. There is so much humor in that, it's unlimited.

It has sustained me in moments of success and in moments of disappointment. Without it, I'd be a different person. And without it, I doubt I'd be here today.

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.

In show business, it takes 10 years to create an overnight success. You've heard that, right? But what you don't hear is that that's the exact same amount of time it takes to create a bitter failure.

There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.

I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.

I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 different ways to do it wrong.

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.