Quotes About Alcohol

I used to drink a lot of beer and brandy when I was in my twenties. Today, I read books and my hangovers are worth talking about.

You're going to want to, but you just can't blame the accident on the Bartles & Jaymes. That wouldn't be fair. Yes, Mooney's blood alcohol was flirting with .15 and his reaction time was down, but 250 pounds of aggressively stupid animal that springs out of nowhere and stands frozen on the center stripe of a dark highway, right in the middle of an unlit curve, I mean, that asshole has to be factored into the equation too.

The obvious tactic for avoiding alcohol-precipitated crashes is to avoid riding after drinking. And that's a decision you have to make before your judgment is impaired.

My God, so much I like to drink Scotch that sometimes I think my name is Igor Stra-whiskey.

Cold beer is bottled God.

God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.

I did mostly alcohol. There were drugs, too - pills - and there was a danger that I would go over the edge. I could have. I thank God I didn't.

March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.

Solace? That's why God made fermented beverages and the blues.

About the nicest thing God ever invented was alcohol. He's proud of it, too. The Bible's full of kind remarks about booze.

God," I moaned. "Do they use that stuff as rocket fuel?" "No one made you keep drinking it." "Hey, don't get preachy. Besides, I had to be polite." "Sure," she said.

A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.

The good news is that parents are the leading influence on kids decision not to drink alcohol.

Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.

The South is dry and will vote dry. That is, everybody that is sober enough to stagger to the polls will.

Drunkeness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness.

When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

Suggested remedy for the common cold: A good gulp of whiskey at bedtime-it's not very scientific, but it helps.

A lot of people don't know the brain is 85% water, so anything that dehydrates you like caffeine or alcohol is bad for the brain.

Whiskey's to tough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear. I hope this refrain, Will help me explain, As a matter of fact, I like beer.

No guy in the history of America has ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without hating himself a little.

I'm something like the old soak who never knew whether his wife told him to take one drink and come home at 12, or take 12 and come home at one.

Most guys my age are boring human beings. They sit in bars, get drunk, and then go home to tell their kids the way to rule their lives, while they're absolutely stewed out of their brains.