Quotes About Alcohol

How, unless you drink as I do, could you hope to understand the beauty of an old Indian woman playing dominoes with a chicken?

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly.

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now.

By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

There is a certain type of conversation one hears only when one is drunk and it is like a dream, full of humor and threat and significance, deep significance.

According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now does.

Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there.

Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together.

Kid, I've only known you two days and I've seen you plastered three times." He shook his head. "A bar would not be a good career move for you.

He only drinks when he gets depressed, ' said Carrot. 'Why does he get depressed?' 'Sometimes it's because he hasn't had a drink.

He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was.

You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.

If you drink anymore, you're going to be positively flammable.

The human intellect owes its superiority over that of the lower animals in great measure to the stimulus which alcohol has given imagination.

Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.

I blew out my flip flop, Stepped on a pop top, Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home. But there's booze in the blender, And soon it will render That frozen concoction that helps me hang on.