Quotes About Awkwardness

The boy I just kissed is talking to my father. The boy I want to kiss again is waiting for my mother to serve pancakes. I must fight the urge to freak.

If I were in a different body, this would be the time I would lean down and kiss her. If I were in a different body, that kiss could transform the night from off to on. If I were in a different body, she would see me inside. She would see what she wanted to see. But now it's awkward.

I was still scared by every gap in our conversation, fearing that this was it, the point where we had nothing left to say.

She must be in eighth grade--maybe seventh. She's old enough to wear make-up, but she hasn't figured out yet how to wear it well.

It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.

Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.

This grown man who now phones his father to say, Motherfucker, I ain't seen pussy so long, I'd throw stones at it.

His embarassment would have pleased me, but once he recovered, there would be that awkward period that sometimes culminates in a handshake. I didn't want to touch these people's hands or see things from their point of view, I just wanted to continue hating them. So I kept my mouth shut and stared off into space.

Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I have ever seen in my life - no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito.

I can't be alone in this, can I? And, of course, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Therefore you keep the crocheted owl given to you by your second-youngest sister and accidentally on purpose drop the mug that reads "Owl Love You Always" and was sent by someone who clearly never knew you to begin with.

Oh, for Christ's sake," I hear. "Can we please just try to have a good time?" This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.

I generally start the conversation immediately, that way the person wanting a book signed never has to say the things they've stood in line agonizing over, and that they will most likely regret later on. There are exceptions, though. I was in Baton Rouge in late May 2013, when a woman approached, saying, before I had a chance to throw her off balance, "You got me to put my bra back on." I set down my pen. "I beg your pardon?

Strip to your underwear," she told me, and I said, "D'accord." As the woman turned to leave, she said something else, and, looking back, I really should have asked her to repeat it, to draw a picture if that's what it took, because once you take your pants off, d'accord isn't really OK anymore.

Would the teacher take note of my bulging eyes or comment on the thin strand of saliva hanging like fishing wire from the corner of my mouth?

The squirrel and the chipmunk had been dating for two weeks when they ran out of things to talk about.

Nébel había sido visto ya por ella; pero no importaba. Lidia llegó cuando él estaba de pie. Avanzó a su encuentro, los ojos centelleantes de dicha, y le tendió un gran ramo de violetas, con adorable torpeza.

Gie'd her a total riddy

rather than hanging around like a fart under a duvet.

He had shit for timing, Aidan knew it. Shit for timing and he had no charm to speak of. When

When you say something stupid, gloss over it with superfast talking and maybe no one'll notice.

Tim reminds me unnecessarily at breakfast that the Bensons and the McDougalls are coming to dinner tonight and asks me to tell Annie not to breathe heavily down the back of his neck when she is waiting at table. Spend half an hour wondering how I can possibly put this in a tactful manner and realise that I can't. Decide to say nothing about it and hope for the best.

I'm sorry I hurt your hand...with my face. -Bobby Pendragon

I had a Screech-from-'Saved by the Bell' kind of vibe in that I hung out with people and had friends while having, like, big, curly hair and being generally a dork.

Awkwardness comes from the realization that, when you look around the world, it's difficult to identify anyone who isn't either the victim or the beneficiary of injustice.