Quotes About Penis

I was the Sumerian god of fertility. You know what that means, don't you? (Sin) You have a lot of penis envy over the other fertility gods? Don't worry. I won't tell the other gods about your small penis problem. (Kat)

Dude, I don't want to talk about Lacey's prom shoes. And I'll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It's called a penis.

He lifted the band out and over Eric's penis before bringing it down

Other primate penises are pencil-thin, whereas the erect human penis averages over one inch in diameter. Also, most other primates have a penis bone called the baculum, and achieve erections mostly through muscular control, like a winch raising a rigid strut. The penis bone is typical of most mammals. By contrast, the male human relies on an unusual system of vasocongestion. The penis fills with blood before copulation, like a blimp inflating before flight.

Tous les enfants essaient de compenser la séparation du sevrage par des conduites de séduction et de parade; on oblige le garçon à dépasser ce stade, on le délivre de son narcissisme en le fixant sur son pénis; tandis que la fillette est confirmée dans cette tendance à se faire objet qui est commune à tous les enfants.

There are numerous historical reports as well as visual images that link mushroom consumption to the ritual of sacrifice. These include bloodletting, penis perforation, and even the improbable act of self-decapitation.

An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into a podiatrist's office instead and weaves over to the receptionist. Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, "Stick it through that curtain." Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the crack in the curtains. "That's not a foot!" screams the receptionist. "Holy shit, lady. I didn't know you had a minimum!

Q: What do you call a bunny with a crooked penis? A: Fucks funny.

The researchers concluded that during intercourse in the missionary position, the penis "has the shape of a boomerang.

The heart, said to be man's noblest organ, has the same shape as the penis, commonly supposed the most ignoble; the symbolism is not inappropriate, because the love which comes from the heart soon extends to the organ which it resembles.

However, Harry, my clock has stopped. The embalmer is rolling up his sleeves. Even as we speak, seventy-two virgins are slipping into schoolgirl uniforms for me. You must live, and I confirm: always put your penis first.

What's that?' his wife said. She came closer. 'It's a penis,' she said. 'You've come home with a man's penis – complete with balls and pubic hair – in your pocket. Where did you get it?

All day, everywhere he went, he heard stories of the remarkable penis, not only of its size and strength, but of its warm way with strangers.

Doesn't the seventeenth-century use of the measurement yard for penis strike you as a bit of an exaggeration, unless the yard then was not the yard now?

The monkey didn't help matters any. He was sitting on top of the microbus, just watching the undead plunge to their end. His face appeared so serene, so intelligent, as if he truly understood the situation. I almost wanted him to turn to me and say, 'This is the turning point of the war! We've finally stopped them! We're finally safe!' But instead his little penis popped out and he peed in my face.

Next to a corpus of which the critic 'has not retained intact a single fragment',5 he reintroduces the body, including his own penis.

He lay on his back, floating in the large bath, his penis like a lily pad.

Beware the women who demand money after playing with your penis. They understand nothing of privilege.

The proximity of Mary filled him with excitement; he had to work to slow his breathing. A drop, another drop – he was flicking his penis dry. It grew long and thin, the corona pointed and cleft like a hoof.

Patron is a writer in Hebrew; wanted to create a pun between the word for Zion and the word for penis. We couldn't find a term for penis, but the word copulate is mtsayen which helped her make her pun with tsion.

Oprah had come a long way from the days when she, too, loved to shock her audiences. But she no longer wanted to be seen as a vulgarian, hosting shows for nudists and shouting 'penis, penis, penis.

That was a charming invitation, she murmured, then arched a brow when the man peeled open his fly patch and wagged his personality at her. Oh, look, kitty. A teeny-tiny little penis. She smiled, leaned just a bit closer. Better take care of it, asshole, or my pussy here might mistake it for a teeny-tiny little mouse and bite it off. It made her feel better to see what there was of his pride and joy shrivel before he closed his flaps.

No way that was a act. She really is that gullible. She really is dumb as a sack of moondust. Yet very sweet. Eve rolled her eyes toward him. I think you have to have a penis to get that impression.

A child said to me 'Do you want to see my penis?' and I said 'Maybe when you're older' and his mom said 'What's wrong with you?' so I said 'Okay, show me your penis now I guess