Quotes About Penis

A hand wouldn't be such a big problem—a pregnancy would be," Del said. "But Elmer's not that dumb." "His penis might be," Del's wife said. "He has a well-schooled cock, he only impregnates what he wants to impregnate," Del said.

Male territorial insanity yields only to another male. What a difference the possession of a penis makes!

Not permitted to desire another man's penis, the bodybuilder phallicizes that which he is permitted to desire: his own body.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my penis into a poodle.

If you were very, very small, smaller than a leprechaun, smaller than a gnome or a fairy, and you lived in a vagina, every time a penis came in there would be a natural disaster. Your dishes would fall out of the cupboards and break and the furniture slide all the way to the other side of the room. It would take a long time to clean up afterwards.

Mick Jagger should fold up his penis and go home.

Having boys around at camp is hard. You have to be on the alert. Boys, for example, like exposing themselves. They walk back from the shower blocks with their towels around them, and next minute either someone flashes at you, or one of his friends grabs his towel off him and makes a run for it. I have to say it's a bit traumatic at times, not knowing when the next penis will appear.

Strangely enough, the least presidential moments of the visit persuaded some of the Post's editors that Trump wasn't putting on an act for them. Fred Hiatt, the paper's editorial-page editor, had to ask, How could a man running for president justify going on a nationally televised debate and talking about the size of his penis?

I have it on good report that not only does Ambrose have a tiny, tiny penis, but he can only become aroused when in the presence of a dead dog, a painting of the Duke of Gibea, and a shirtless galley drummer.

I had forgotten how backward you are. My poet king was the same way. It took him a long, miserable time before he realized the truth of things: there is a great deal of difference between a penis and a heart.