Quotes About Satire

I feel bad sometimes because I secretly hope New Orleans gets nailed again.

My golf-loving friend Bob Hope asked me what my handicap was, so I told him - the Congress.

As far as socially redeeming value, I hope I don't have any.

Well, there are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the farce.

I have a rare form of body dysmorphia in which I absolutely can't stand how good I look.

All humor is rooted in pain.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Humor is consistent with pathos, whilst wit is not.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

I have been accused of being a joker. But the most successful art to me involves humor.

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer… but no one will do it.

Humor is... despair refusing to take itself seriously.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

Humor is the only reason to live.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'

Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor but the highest form of flattery.

I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.