Quotes About Poker

I used to sports gamble a lot and I was getting killed on that but then I found poker and really enjoyed it. But it was a hobby more than anything else. I played it every day but only on pretty small stakes.

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

If you read people great then you can become a great No Limit Hold 'Em player.

Isaac Bell slowly laid his cards on the table one by one. "A straight flush

Spoiler: I didn't win the Main Event. You had suspicions, you say? For one thing, the subtitle of this book would be The Amazing Life-Affirming Story of an Unremarkable Jerk Who Won the World Series of Poker! instead of having the word Death in it. For another, do these sound like the words of a motherfucker who won a million goddamn dollars?

I have a good poker face because I am half dead inside.

Our government disdains a risk-reward game that millions of Americans play," Matt wrote, "then bails out Wall Street sharks who bet unfathomable sums. I can only conclude that this contradictory stance has little to do with the skills required for each pursuit. No, for some reason, lawmakers just don't like poker.

Was it counterintuitive to apply lessons from a women's self-defense book to the World Series of Poker? Yes. But if modernity has taught us anything, it's that you don't fuck with Oprah.

HOLLYWOODING: Using all your years of deceiving others to put on a show at the table. Ever said, "Cute baby," about some newborn who'd found a portal between their Hell Dimension and our world? You may have a career in poker.

Joe's blue eyes turned a little watery; he rubbed first one of them, and then the other, in a most uncongenial and uncomfortable manner, with the round knob on the top of the poker.

I believe I had a delirious idea of seizing the red-hot poker out of the fire, and running him through with it.

Because all that money wouldn't be in the pot in the first place if you weren't up against a pretty strong hand, you loose, dumb, tight-weak motherfucker!

How do we do this?" Uncle Josh asked. "We divide them up, read through them one at a time," I said, dealing out the files as if they were an oversized poker hand. "I'm a chef, not a lawyer," Paul said, shoving a steaming tuna melt into my mouth. It was utterly delicious, especially after a few days of hospital chow.

When I started playing, I saw a lot of people who were 45 and unhappy. I told myself I'd never be in a position where I had to play all the time. And I haven't been.

TechCrunch is the publication of record, but they're so bad and uninformed. It's insult after insult. When I play poker with other VC's, we all laugh at TechCrunch.

Every poker player, like every fisherman, needs to have a story in a box, and most poker stories are completely uninteresting.

Playing Limit Hold'em will certainly improve your No Limit game. There are subtleties to the Limit game that will enhance your technique at the No Limit tables. Mastering these uniquely aggressive Limit tactics will enable you to steal more pots when you sit down to play No Limit Hold'em.

How players react to questions that you ask can give definitive information as to the strength of their hand. Even an opponent who says nothing at all might be sending a silent signal. A mere shrug, an awkward smile, or even a frozen stare can be meaningful.

Blind stealing is not exclusive to late position play. You can steal blinds from any position, and you should!

I don't see you holdin no aces.

If you've been playing poker for half an hour and you still don't know who the patsy is, you're the patsy.

I started playing poker in 2003 during my pregnancy, to distract myself from my awful morning sickness. For months all I did was cry and play Texas Hold'em.

I kept my poker face on and listened to him with an air of interest and respect (I thought of what it says in one of Rand's novels, how the winner can afford to be generous).

The teeth must have escaped while you murdered the rest of it," said Bramble, cough-laughing into her napkin. "Ha ha ha! You know, sometimes I think Clover is harboring some deep, dark shocking secret. Fire poker! Ba-hahahahaaa!