Quotes About Communication

Make Sure Everyone Has a Voice:

This approach extended to the raucous all-employee street hockey games in the parking lot ("No one held back when fighting the founders for the puck," recalled one player) and to the all-company Friday forums, where anyone could challenge the founders with any question under the sun, no matter how controversial—and vice versa. Like the hockey games, the Friday forums often turned into collision-filled affairs.

Having one person tell other people what to do is not a reliable way to make good decisions.

Avoid Giving Sandwich Feedback:

In the first two sections of this book we've focused on safety and vulnerability. We've seen how small signals—You are safe, We share risk here—connect people and enable them to work together as a single entity. But now it's time to ask: What's this all for? What are we working toward? When I visited the successful groups, I noticed that whenever they communicated anything about their purpose or their values, they were as subtle as a punch in the nose.

These groups, who by all rights should know what they stand for, devote a surprising amount of time telling their own story, reminding each other precisely what they stand for—then repeating it ad infinitum.

In any interaction, we have a natural tendency to try to hide our weaknesses and appear competent. If you want to create safety, this is exactly the wrong move.

master coaching is something more evanescent: more art than science. It exists in the space between two people, in the warm, messy game of language, gesture, and expression.

On the face of it, these awkward moments at Pixar, the SEALs, and Gramercy Tavern don't make sense. These groups seem to intentionally create awkward, painful interactions that look like the opposite of smooth cooperation. The fascinating thing is, however, these awkward, painful interactions generate the highly cohesive, trusting behavior necessary for smooth cooperation.

Close physical proximity, often in circles Profuse amounts of eye contact Physical touch (handshakes, fist bumps, hugs) Lots of short, energetic exchanges (no long speeches) High levels of mixing; everyone talks to everyone Few interruptions Lots of questions Intensive, active listening Humor, laughter Small, attentive courtesies (thank-yous, opening doors, etc.)

What matters is establishing this link and consistently creating engagement around it. What matters is telling the story.

Great teachers focus on what the student is saying or doing," he says, "and are able, by being so focused and by their deep knowledge of the subject matter, to see and recognize the inarticulate stumbling, fumbling effort of the student who's reaching toward mastery, and then connect to them with a targeted message.

One study found that workers who shared a location emailed one another four times as often as workers who did not, and as a result they completed their projects 32 percent faster.)

One of the reasons it works is that it creates a high-purpose environment by delivering an unbroken array of consistent little signals. Every time an officer banters with a fan, every time a fan notices the lack of protective armor, a signal is sent: We are here to get along. Every time the police allow fans to keep kicking the ball, they reinforce that signal. By themselves, none of the signals matter. Together they build a new story.

We don't normally think about belonging to big groups in this way. Normally, when we think about belonging to big groups, we think about great communicators who create a vivid and compelling vision for others to follow. But that is not what's happening here. In fact, Hsieh is anticharismatic, he does not communicate particularly well, and his tools are grade school simple—Meet people, you'll figure it out. So why does it work so well?

approaches every relationship. He fills their cups." When Popovich wants to connect with a player, he moves in tight enough that their noses nearly touch; it's almost like a challenge—an intimacy contest. As warm-ups continue, he keeps roving, connecting. A former player walks up, and Popovich beams, his face lighting up in a toothy grin. They talk for five minutes, catching up on life, kids, and teammates. "Love you, brother," Popovich says as they part.

Make Sure the Leader Is Vulnerable First and Often: As we've seen, group cooperation is created by small, frequently repeated moments of vulnerability. Of these, none carries more power than the moment when a leader signals vulnerability.

proximity functions as a kind of connective drug. Get close, and our tendency to connect lights up. As scientists have pointed out, the Allen Curve follows evolutionary logic. For the vast majority of human history, sustained proximity has been an indicator of belonging—after all, we don't get consistently close to someone unless it's mutually safe.

The interaction he describes can be called a vulnerability loop. A shared exchange of openness, it's the most basic building block of cooperation and trust.

The trick is not just to send the signal but to create engagement around it.

But they succeeded because they understood that being vulnerable together is the only way a team can become invulnerable.

Overcommunicate Expectations: The successful groups I visited did not presume that cooperation would happen on its own. Instead, they were explicit and persistent about sending big, clear signals that established those expectations, modeled cooperation, and aligned language and roles to maximize helping behavior.

Deliver the Negative Stuff in Person: This was an informal rule that I encountered at several cultures. It goes like this: If you have negative news or feedback to give someone—even as small as a rejected item on an expense report—you are obligated to deliver that news face-to-face.

science shows that when it comes to creating cooperation, vulnerability is not a risk but a psychological requirement.