Quotes About Death

Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

If I weren't already dead, I'd have to kill myself just so I could roll over in my grave.

You're dead, George. You just don't have the sense to lie down.

Yo soy carne muerta. Translation: I am dead meat.

A person without regrets is called a corpse.

If a tree falls in the forest and kills your ex-wife, what do you do with the lumber?

Not all. Some of them he probably lectured to death.

You know Death will get you in the end, but if you are smart and have a sense of humor, you can thumb your nose at it for awhile

I am one of the unpraised, unrewarded millions without whom Statistics would be a bankrupt science. It is we who are born, who marry, who die, in constant ratios.

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

..., dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. Chapter I.

Because seeing someone's heart ripped out, presumably for the first time, is something a person should accept naturally, like finding out there's no Santa Clause.

He tried to look up more about magical curses online – but as usual, the internet wasn't a huge help, and mostly just its best to convince him he was about to die. - 'Only Human' by Meredith Katz

So I am death" Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast."This is death toast sweety.

What'd you think would happen when you died? That the prophecy would just be over and we'd all be like, oops, guess we got that one wrong?

I got bored, " he says. "Besides, you know what's creepier than walking around your dead brothers' apartment? Sitting alone in a hearse in front of his apartment.

I would have killed myself years ago if it weren't for the fact that I'm pretty sure death is the only thing more terrible than life.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either.

I'm beginning to wish I'd had you deported after the first murder! Death seems to follow you around like the plague.

Skulduggery stood among the ruins of what had once been a sofa. Valkyrie raised an ey

Who knew death could lead to an eating disorder?

I hope I died honorably. I have a great deal to atone for. - Eler Nersal