Quotes About Death

All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

God is indeed dead. He died of self-horror when He saw the creature He had made in His own image.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

You haven't lived until you've died in California

If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.

You know what's funny to me? You know what's really funny to me? The fact that you've been calling Lita the walking kiss of death, but tonight.. the walking KOD beat the walking STD.

No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.

Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris.

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

Being dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

It's funny: All my friends back home are always wondering why every television show I'm on is a drama, but all the comedy pilots I did died a slow and painful death.

All geniuses die young.

When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny.

My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

I don't mind dying, the trouble is you feel so bloody stiff the next day.

The Side Effects of Dying in Your Pants isn't really funny… Alright, it's a little funny.