Quotes About Irony

While fools shun one set of faults they run into the opposite one.

I'm so optimistic, it's depressing.

I think I would explode in flames of irony if I were to option an idea that I was satirizing in a novel.

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

The Oscar sits on some shelf above my desk. If there was an earthquake, I could actually be killed by my own Academy Award.

Hypocrisy is the outside of cynicism.

Existing outside of irony is so hard.

The irony is that some men use money to attract women but hate gold diggers and some women use their body to attract men but hate to be viewed as sex objects.

Just when you've squared up to the solemn realisation that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just to confuse you. - Emily Spitzer, The Better Mousetrap

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record.

Master-meaning! Concealed revealment! I spent my twenties wanting to be Lévi-Strauss – which is ironic, since he spent most of his life wanting to be somebody or something else: a philosopher, say, or novelist, or poet.

It is a defect of God's humor that he directs our hearts everywhere but to those who have a right to them.

There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby.

I'm the type of guy who'd sell you a rat's asshole for a wedding ring.

Every 7 seconds there is a woman somewhere in the world giving birth to a child. We must find that woman and stop her!

Remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty?

Sometimes I'm so clever that I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying.

No correlation exists between sugar and nutritional benefit. Its presence in food assures the tongue that energy and protein reside within, but sweet foods deliver a benign-tasting venom. A crowning irony of the sugar-slave symbiosis was that it was not fatal just to Africans; it could also be fatal to their masters.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.