Quotes About Irony

The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax.

It's ironic that when I was alive, all I thought about was death.

If the queen had balls, she'd be the king.

Note to self-give serious thought to becoming an alcoholic.

You're so pretty, Joe. It's really a shame that you're such a dumbass.

How ironic was it that in order to get her fresh start, she'd have to face her past?

I'll have you know, I actually got a speeding ticket last year. 'For driving under the speed limit?

Hell's bells, irony blows.

Yeah, but I forgot to take my George Orwell-shaped multivitamins along with my breakfast bowl of Big Brother Os this morning.

Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day," I said. "But set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. Tao of Pratchett.

Kestus idly added theoretical torture to the theoretical murder, because done right, it might be funny.

You have to retrace your steps and see how you got to where you are, the bird said sarcastically, which, I might add, is a pretty pathetic situation.

It is a way of talking that tends to preclude further discussion, which may well be its intention: the public life of liberal Hollywood comprises a kind of dictatorship of good intentions, a social contract in which actual and irreconcilable disagreement is as taboo as failure or bad teeth, a climate devoid of irony.

the public life of liberal Hollywood comprises a kind of dictatorship of good intentions, a social contract in which actual and irreconcilable disagreement is as taboo as failure or bad teeth, a climate devoid of irony.

she didn't need anyone. At Wheeler, even when she stood out with her pink hair and quilter army-surplus jacket and combat bots, she did this without apology. It was a great irony that the very fact of a relationship with her would diminish her appeal, that the moment she came to love me back and depend on me as much as I depended on her, she would no longer be a truly independent spirit. No way in hell was I going to be the one to take that quality away from her.

When asked to contribute ten dollars to a lawyer's funeral I said: "Here's fifty. Bury five of them."

I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not use irony in any way.

Life sucks when your girlfriend won't!

May your Valentine's Day dinner have the romantic lighting of a stadium blackout.

You know it's a bad day when your blind date is your ex-husband.

Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again.

My Ex-Husband is the BEST husband !

You know it's a bad day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

I think its funny that people who treat you like sh.. get offended when you finally do the same to them.