Quotes About Irony

He hated when his own advice applied to himself.

Did they live happily ever after? HAHAHAHAHA. No.

I keep forgetting about your amnesia. Heh. Forgetting about amnesia. That's funny.

Amy gritted her teeth. King Louis XVI even put Franklin's picture on a chamber pot! Jonah looked at his dad. Do we have souvenir chamber pots? No. His dad whipped out his phone. I'll make the call.

Even the gods couldn't devise a fates so twisted.

I looked more like Kurt Cobain than ever, except I doubt Cobain ever wore a shirt that read: WIGGLES ROCK & ROLL PRESCHOOL TOUR! The really disturbing thing was that they made shirts like that in my size.

Should I get you a shovel so you can dig that hole a little deeper?

The situation was so pathetically sad, it was almost funny.

Where were we?" he said. "Ah, yes, cake and sarcasm.

But in truth,' said Bull, 'we are going nowhere. That my friend, is the irony of our constant movement.

Ironic, isn't it? What? Here I am, trying to survive WITH you, when before my whole plan was just trying to SURVIVE YOU. I'm not sure what that means. And I wish you'd stop talking in puzzles and just say normal things, because I've had a big shock. This morning I was looking at a YouTube video of a hamster eating a tiny burrito and now I'm floating on this stupid raft and my friends are dead so just keep that in mind.

Morbidly afraid of water, he then drowned himself in his swimming pool. Not too far away, consistent with a lifetime of dark humor, he left out a copy of the book Don't Go Near the Water.

As we got older, we went on talking about the Gallery. If you wanted to praise someone's work, you'd say: "That's good enough for the Gallery." And after we discovered irony, whenever we came across any laughably bad work, we'd go: "Oh yes! Straight to the Gallery with that one!

Yes, I said You were saved by a girl. Horrible, isn't it? He slid out and looked down at my bare legs. Not just a girl, but a half-naked one. Now that's hot. If I'm still unconscious, don't wake me, okay?

Expecting to see a Doberman slavering at the fence, i followed his gaze to a little puff of white fur, the kind of dog women stick in their purses. I wasn't even barking, just staring and dancing in place. Oh, my god! It's a killer Pomeranian. I glanced up at Derek. It's a tough call, but i think you can take him. He glared.

So, let me get this straight, he said to me. You save my ass and you're a loser. I stick up for you because of it and I'm a hero. How does that work? I don't know. But it's so sweet.

He looked like a Yanni fan at an Iron Maiden Concert.

Figures," Corey muttered. "Survive a forest fire, helicopter crash, and killer eels, only to slip on a rock.

Everybody naked, nobody happy. It's Scandinavian art porn.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if………………………………… you can prove you don't need it.

A man thought he could fly, so he jumped off the top of a ten-storey building, and as he fell past the fifth floor, flapping his arms uselessly in the air, he was heard to say: So far, so good.

Nothing is too ridiculous for modern politics.

He was the richest man in the world, yet he was always broke.

Like a cartoon world, where the figures are flat and outlined in black, jerking through some kind of goofy story that might be real funny if it weren't for the cartoon figures being real guys...