Quotes About Irony

It would be the irony of fate if my administration had to deal chiefly with foreign affairs.

Last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.

You have no values. With you it's all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.

Sex and death. Two things that come once in a lifetime. But at least after death you're not nauseous.

Well, freedom is wonderful. On the other hand, if you're dead, it's a tremendous drawback to your sex life.

Yes, but–as empty experiences go–it's one of the best!

I was suicidal as a matter of fact and would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and, if you kill yourself, they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

The horns blew, and Jesus came floating out of the damned sky like Magneto to save us all! How did you repay him? You shot him in the fucking face and he hit the ground! He hit that shit harder than Paul Walker driving through a Christmas tree farm! So, yes! Congratulations! You're the Antichrist and your father was a psychic!

Imagine that; you survive the apocalypse, the scourge of Satan, the wrath of Jesus, and your first order of business is to bust a nut." "I'm not surprised. Humans were never good at prioritizing," I replied,

Si la cursilería fuera un pecado, yo cada noche me ganaría el infierno.

Te ríes cuando deberías horrorizarte. Te enamoras de mí cuando más bien tendrías que esquivarme.

Tragedy when ridiculed by comedy does not condescend a reply.

Sometimes life kicks you in the teeth with an irony that a self-respecting fiction writer would be ashamed to invent.

So do you think it's true what they say? About girls liking bastards?' 'He's not a bastard. He's an idiot.' 'Do girls like idiots then?

Just kidding' was exactly what people wrote when they meant every word of it.

I am going to the bad place, as is my wont.

Bad things happen in nice places, and nice things happen in bad places. But that doesn't mean the places themselves are hard to tell apart.

People who observe me say I'm so much happier." Ironically, Yahoo has become a proxy for Alibaba and nothing more, and only Yang got a seat on Alibaba's board, nobody else from Yahoo did. 53 The

If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.