Quotes About Irony

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

Hugh and I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to engage in physical combat. Once, he hit me on the back of the head with a broken wineglass, and I fell to the floor pretending to be unconscious. That was romantic, or would have been had he rushed to my side rather than stepping over my body to fetch the dustpan.

Lucy had started thinking about irony as a force in nature, invisible but inescapable, quietly shaping the arcs of human lives. It was like Occam's razor meets Murphy's Law: faced with two equally likely outcomes, the universe was biased toward the most ironic one.

It's funny because it's funny.

No African American speaker had ever faced this kind of captive audience, composed of all the leadership of the federal government in one place; and no such speaker would ever again until Barack Obama was inaugurated president in January 2009. Douglass, a master ironist about America

be included among those Americans the modern theologian Donald W. Shriver Jr. has called "honest patriots," those who manifest an ironic-tragic love of country by learning, narrating, and working through its past of contradiction and evil, and not by evading it.

But as ever in life, wherever there is tragedy, you can often find comedy.

These pastoral-poet guys with their bleating goats and oaten pipes can stuff their phalaecean hendecasyllabics where the sun don't shine.

When a man plans, a woman laughs.

You want sympathy, you can find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.

The bathroom was clean. Well, not clean, but there were no corpses in there.

MCWONGALD'S—SHIT LUNCH TURDWOMAN

Type of guy whose life had gone exactly as he'd expected it. I bet he'd never shot a delivery guy with a crossbow even once.

It's ironic, really. Guys should be excited that I got Kristen Bell. If Brad Pitt gets Kristen Bell, it's like, 'Well, of course he did.' With me, it should be, 'Oh good, a normal-looking guy got her. Maybe I'll get me a Kristen Bell.' But guys hate my guts for always dating women I have no right to be with.

What I'am learning is the world laughs through its ass every day, then just lies double-time when shit goes down. It's like we're on a Pritikin diet of fucken lies. I mean - what kind of fucken life is this?

The only sound I'd like to hear from a Motivational Speaker is a death rattle

Give me a defiant poseur over a trendsetter any day. The poseur understands the absurdity of trends

A great irony is that the quest for secular immortality is being funded by foundations and individuals who seem to hate life

Hamet, Seid, and Abdallah were stung by the irony that on the wild desert, where people had virtually nothing, they shared freely, but here, where resources were comparatively abundant, no one would offer them so much as a drink.

Plans are jokes written by men for God's amusement.

Holy Christ fate's got a fucking sick sense of humor " he chuckled.

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life?

The most dangerous irony is, people are angry with others because of their own incompetence.