Quotes About Contradiction

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

And oil's not supposed to mix with water. But then someone invented mayonnaise, and wham - instant mixing.

I sometimes give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.

I've always been interested in people, but I've never liked them.

"Yes, but that's our strongest weak point."

That was perfect. It was just the opposite from what I said yesterday.

There isn't any finer folks living than a Republican that votes the Democratic ticket.

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

Nothing says "deeply in mourning" like canapés and free beer.

These jokes the world plays, they're not funny at all.

By the way, I'm funniest when I'm not being funny. I'm better to laugh at than with, pretty much.

What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you 'turn up missing'?

He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.

Funny how someone telling you not to do something can talk you into it.

Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.

If I were married, I would be unmarried.

It's sick and twisted and violent. Other than that it is totally G rated.

Stealing is good, honest work, " Said the theif, puffing out his chest. "Well, not honest, strictly speaking, " he admitted after a moment. "Or actually good.

There is no logic in logics except an illogical logic.

You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you, " Garrett joked.

It feels a little bit funny coming here and telling you guys that Linux and open source are the future of gaming. It's sort of like going to Rome and teaching Catholicism to the pope.

It's ironic, isn't it? Our goal was great. Our path was dark.

The problem we've got now in Washington is that the goals are completely the opposite from each other.

A man once asked to shake hands with me, the "greatest Englishman who ever lived." I replied, "F**k off, I'm Irish."