Quotes About Self-deprecation

I remember when I was younger and seeing guys like The Rock cut these promos telling the world how terrible they are. How they are a bunch of losers and stuff like that. He was so funny when he did it that you couldn't wait 'til he came out and started insulting you.

I remember when I was at St Mirren someone called me the ugliest thing they had seen at Tynecastle, and two minutes later I scored - it was brilliant. I just laugh it off - I agree with them most of the time!

You know when you tell a self-deprecating story at a dinner party, everyone's laughing along with you? But then when someone else repeats that same story at another dinner party you feel they're all laughing at you?

Canada is a balloon-puncturing country. You are not really allowed to be an icon unless you also make an idiot of yourself.

Besides, I'm fairly incompetent. I can't play that fast.

I do bits about dating but mainly about what I did and how incompetent I am, not any genuine people writing to me.

I broke my wrist on TV trying to do a one-armed push-up. A lot of people delight in pointing this out to me.

I would be so mad if I saw something called a memoir, and then it was Mike Birbiglia. It would be so infuriating. It's like, 'Who is this guy, and why does he have a memoir?' David Letterman could write a memoir. Joan Rivers could. I'm just a nobody. I'm a comedian and a writer.

I like to make people laugh. That's for sure. And I really like to humiliate myself and go very far in derision and stuff. But no, I like everything. I started a little bit of doing drama, too. I like that, too. I guess I just want to touch everything.

I wasn't aware I was trading on my good name; I've never had a good name.

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.

My favorite, and the author I wish I was reading right now and always is Nora Ephron. I love the humor, the awareness, the sense of self-deprecation. She is such a role model to me.

I've always wanted to do a real comedy. I haven't done enough, and it seems silly not to do more, considering the fact that people tend to laugh at me.

I like silly photos of me, looking stupid.

She had learned the self-deprecating ways of the woman who does not want to be thought hard and grasping, but her artifices could not always cover the nakedness of her need to excel.

I was the worst hitter ever. I never even broke a bat until last year when I was backing out of the garage.

What is your type?"I shrugged. "Non-existent.

My Saturday night is like a microwave burrito. Very tough to ruin something that starts out so bad to begin with.

Nothing came up on the pubic comb, because you don't have a lot down there to comb. Bottom

I'm never happier when writing than when I see gags taking shape - ideally, gags at my own expense. What I like is the shuttling back and forth, serious into comedy and vice-versa, ideally, both in the same sentence, or even simultaneously. The best jokes are always ideas in miniature.

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.

If you heard me sing, you would just plug your ears and run, screaming, the other way. I promise.

I've only got one wrinkle, and I'm sitting on it.