Quotes About Self-deprecation

I am the best tennis player who cannot play tennis.

Laughter deriding others is only too often incense one burns at one's own self-constructed altar, an altar one knows to be rickety.

I had no job at the time and was living off the cruel joke I referred to as my savings.

It's funny, ma'am, how sometimes you're so sarcastic but it doesn't sting. Because of my dimples. Dimples are a get-out-of-jail-free card

I think it is easier to put yourself down before anyone else does. Or to laugh at yourself before anyone else does.

I'd rather take the mick out of myself before anyone else does. I know they'll do it, so I'd rather get in there first!

Kimbilir, belki kahramanl??a, cömertli?e inanan, soyu tükenmek üzere olan bir hanedan?n son temsilcisi, yani, belki de salaklar?n ?ah?y?md?r !

In my comedy when there's a victim, it's me.

I'm not saying that I don't like the stuff I put out into the world, because I genuinely enjoy my videos and think they are funny. What I'm saying is that I embrace the fact that I have a punchable face, and that if I could punch myself without feeling it, I would.

I'm getting dumber by the minute," I confirmed. "Ask anybody.

I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good.

I destroy myself by augmenting unnecessary self-deprecating understandings of beauty. But that's also what keeps me satisfied.

I'll never forget one morning I walked in and I had a hell of a bruise - it had been a difficult night the night before - and a client said to me, 'Good God, Vidal, what happened to your face?' And I said, 'Oh, nothing, madam, I just fell over a hairpin.'

I am the farthest thing from a computer genius.

Laugh a little when the joke's on you

My most important professional accomplishment to date is the ability to keep working with absolutely no skills whatsoever.

When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?

If masturbation is a crime then I should be on death row.

Moi?" He put his hand over his heart and did his best wounded-innocent look. "You must be thinking of some other uncouth jackass. Which makes me jealous, by the way.

I am such a sillybilly that I embarrass myself all the time.

Of all the idiots I have met in my life, and the Lord knows they have not been few or little, I think that I have been the biggest.

So what I do now is to pre-empt that by making the up into a virtue, and telling funny stories about how crap I am before people have a chance to notice it for themselves and think maybe I haven't realised.

Èši-a spus cineva ceva? am întrebat-o. - Nu-s decât o ciuperc?. Gluma asta cazon? era veche È™i pe timpul lui taic?-meu: Sunt È›inut? în bezn? È™i hr?nit? cu rahat.

You can get rich making fun of me. I know. I've made lots of money making fun of me.