Quotes About Entertainment

This is the material, by the way, that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for the past 15 years. Gee, I wonder why we're hated the world over? Look at these fat Americans in the front row - 'Why doesn't he just hit fruit with a hammer?' Folks, I could have done that, walked around being a millionaire and franchising myself but no, I had to have this weird thing about trying to illuminate the collective unconscious and help humanity. Fucking moron.

It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time.

Everyone is hawking products. That's like the highest thing you can achieve now, isn't it? Become some barker. Sinatra hawks beer; he doesn't have enough money, does he?

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

we use TV as we use tranquilizers- to even things out, to blot out unpleasantness, to dilute confusion, distress, unhappiness, loneliness.

the television culture celebrates incompetence.

TV was like a third parent- a source of ideas and information and impressions. and not such a bad parent- always with time to spare, always eager to please, often funny.

Anyone who can do the splits and come back up on the backbeat, as James Brown and Prince can, has my eternal respect. Prince, who is a genius of the highest order, can come back up while singing and playing the guitar.

I like being in kids' movies, and I like being in family movies.

Lucky Luciano himself has personally funded Sinatra's rise to celebrity.

These so-called entertainers get rich while the kids who emulate their lyrics and attitude destroy themselves.

With While You Were Sleeping, it was so much fun and such a Cinderella story, that I didn't want to do another romantic comedy. I wanted to do the opposite.

So many reality shows are scripted and create this fake drama, and it's a bunch of bull. We wanted to do something real and something wholesome and something that's focused on positive family values.

But Brian has become a great, great, great friend. He's super talented obviously, which is evident to anybody who watches him do NCAA Tournament games or NFL games.

During the Brewers' playoff run in 2011, Ryan Braun stumbled rounding third on what would have been an inside-the-park home run. He got to third base, and coach Eddie Sedar was waving him around and Braunie got so excited that he just lost control, stumbled, and did a face-plant between third and home. He was tagged out, which was bad, but he drove in a run, and the Brewers won the game so everybody laughed about

Every once in a while, when the Brewers are in a losing streak, Bob Uecker will pull out a secret weapon. It's a tape made by a sound effects company of a man having an explosive—and exceedingly long—bowel movement. Sophomoric? Yes. But it gets guys laughing so hard that a couple of losses or a 0-for-12 streak doesn't seem so daunting.

Ueck's job was protect Bob Kuban, and the band that was playing in left field. They took a break. Roger Craig said, 'Ueck, why don't you grab a tuba?' He dropped his glove, grabbed the tuba, and caught about five balls in it. I remember [Cardinals general manager] Bob Howsam sent him a bill for $116 after the World Series for damage to the tuba.

The most beautiful thing in the world is a ballpark filled with people.

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

There's no damn business like show business - you have to smile to keep from throwing up.

For some young people, their first experience ever hearing punk rock music was playing the Green Bay Packers on 'Madden'.

Set lists are tough because you come up with this structure of how the songs are going to go from one to the next, but at the same time, you have to be spontaneous and take requests and change the set list at the drop of a hat.

You simply have to love show business to make the risk worthwhile.

Psychic, illusionist... I'm just doing the things that I find interesting and worthwhile.