Quotes About Relationships

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said "No."

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.

Bisexuality automatically doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Should I marry W. Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Expectations are pretty tough on relationships.

Buddhist practice is about developing character. And relationships are the forum, the classroom, in which we learn how.

They all liked California, but they thought the people were cold.

To preserve our relationships, we give of our time, our assets, our attention, our help, and our love. To preserve our wealth, we give generously as we are accumulating, so we do not invoke the Universal law of maximization, which states that when anything reaches its maximum potential, it turns toward its opposite.

Relationships require complete integrity. The first time you lie or are untrue to your partner, you condemn yourself and your partner to a second-class relationship. First-class relationships are possible only in an atmosphere of total trust.

It's hard to be prejudiced against someone you love.

In learning about a person, you learn something about the world and about yourself, and if you can handle what you learn, you can get closer, much closer to them.

Almost all of our relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barter, to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods.

If you form the habit of taking what someone else says about a thing without checking it out for yourself, you'll find that other people will have you hating your friends and loving your enemies.

Me voy a los extremos todo el tiempo. A veces te maldigo tanto que hasta rezo para que te vaya mal. "Virgen Santísima, que le amputen un brazo a ese Hijo de la Chingada". Y otras estoy rezando para que me llames y me saques de aquí y nos vayamos a cualquier pinche nowhere a volvernos una feliz pareja de nobodies. Pero el resto del tiempo trato de no pensar en nada. más que en mí.

La gente se enamora y no vomita, por eso se envenena.

La manera más eficaz de sacar a alguien de tu vida es echártelo encima. Cargarlo todo el tiempo, para que hasta cuando sonría te parezca insoportable.

Era obvio que no se iba a quedar, y si de pura suerte se quedaba iba a acabar odiándome. Te digo que los tipos decentes no me van. Les traigo mala suerte.