Quotes About Comedy

Groucho Marx continued to alternately call Margaret Dumont "a great lady" and to denigrate her in interviews. But he seemed, at the end, to realize how important she'd been to his career. When accepting his 1974 Lifetime Achievement Oscar, the ailing Groucho told the audience, "I only wish Harpo and Chico could have been here—and Margaret Dumont.

Not many performers are equally at home in drama and comedy; Claudette Colbert was one of those few. It's hard to decide whether she was more brilliant in screwball comedies like It Happened One Night, The Palm Beach Story and Midnight, or tragedies like Imitation of Life and So Proudly We Hail! The most modern of actresses, she was also one of the most talented.

Eat more beans to produce more gas.

Laughter is the deadliest weapon of all: with laughter you can murder anything, even murder.

My wife and I have been happy for twenty years....Then we met!

Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown.

What's the difference between a classical guitar and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.

My main point is to be funny if I can slip a message in there, fine.

Funny is an attitude.

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.

I don't have a very quick sense of humor.

La vie est une sitcom: une suite de scènes qui se déroulent toujours dans les mêmes décors, avec à peu près les mêmes personnages, et dont on attend les prochains épisodes avec une impatience teintée d'abrutissement.

My favorite animal is steak.

Favorite animal: steak.

I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose ...

To laugh is proper to man.

A fart is just your arse applauding.

Chic Murray once told me, he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, 'Did you fall?' He said, 'No, I'm trying to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.

My father once dropped fifty pence, bent down to pick it up and it hit him on the back of the neck. He used to wake up at night to see if he'd lost any sleep.

I miss those days, those midnight hours on the turnpike with nothing on the road but trucks and me, and nothing on my mind but the act and how I could make it funnier.

Billy Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW IT UP. 3rd Grader I dare you to touch her boobs. Billy Touch her boobs That's assault brotha...... Ya double dare me

Billy Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

Happiness is working with Jack Lemmon.