Quotes About Comedy

Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much... ...Monogamy ? It's the same.

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.

When I was a kid, I used to watch 'Laurel and Hardy' with my cousins all the time. I still think they're extremely funny and so surreal.

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.

When you do comedy in front of an audience, they are the ones who tell you whether it's funny or not and which bits are funny and which bits need to be fixed.

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.

I'm not at all funny. I can do dark comedy pretty well, but straight-up comedy, I don't know. I'm much darker. I've been like that since I was 3 years old

Chris Elliott could read the phonebook and he's funny.

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it.

I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked.

We have always had gross humor. But we try for funny, not gross.

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.

Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He's got 30 years on stage... there's no telling him what's funny.

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators.

Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.

My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour.