Quotes About Comedy

Humor is not far from my vocabulary.

I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he?"

We have a certain warped sense of humor in Scandinavia, and that is what comes across in the choices in a lot of our movies.

I sometimes close my eyes during a show because I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids.

I did whatever it takes to do stand-up. There is an abundance of material in struggling and poverty and trying to make it. There is so much humor in that, it's unlimited.

People who go for humor are wonderful because they do great humor. People who go for wit and end up with humor are people who have made a mistake.

Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.

These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.

A joke isn't yours. It's used and you don't know where it's been.

You can't just yell jokes at people.

So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'

I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.

I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee!

You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.

So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".

I think comedy is the hardest art form there is.

My comedy has no color, it's for everybody, black, white, Latino, Asian. It's not a pro-black show, not a def jam show; it's just straight, wholesome type of humor.

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...'

I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

It's hard to fight when you're in a gazebo.

It is a difficult thing to like anybody else's ideas of being funny.

Humor is like a frog. You can dissect it to see how it works, but by then, it's dead.

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge.

It's odd how violence and humor so often go together, isn't it?