Quotes About Comedy

If you want to talk to me after the show, I'd be surprised.

Writing humor is not something every single person can do.

I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand.

I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.

Humor is tragedy plus time.

He kills her in her own humor.

You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other.

If I had a sense of humor, I'd be laughing right now.

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

My wife a great driver, she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit

I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.

I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.

Short people have long faces, and long people have short faces. Big people have little humor, and little people have no humor at all.

My father was a small claims court jester.

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

everybody fancies they have that rare thing, a sense of humour.

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

I got my start in silent radio.

My only thrill is self inflicted hickies.

I've never used my weight to get a laugh. That is, used my size as the subject for humor. You never saw me stuck in a door-way or stuck in a chair.

I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.

Understanding humor is like dissecting a live frog. It can be done, but the frog tends to die in the process.

If you want a lot of visual humor, the way to do it is have visual people do it.