Quotes About Self-awareness

The greatest gift of having done this work (the research and the personal work) is that I can recognize shame when it's happening. First, I know my physical symptoms of shame—the dry mouth, time slowing down, tunnel vision, hot face, racing heart. I know that playing the painful slow-motion reel over and over in my head is a warning sign.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm feeling my emotions at about 10, I'm paying attention to them at about 5, and I understand them at about 2.

Betrayal is an important word with this guidepost. When we value being cool and in control over granting ourselves the freedom to unleash the passionate, goofy, heartfelt, and soulful expressions of who we are, we betray ourselves. When we consistently betray ourselves, we can expect to do the same to the people we love. When

Without understanding how our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors work together, it's almost impossible to find our way back to ourselves and each other. When we don't understand how our emotions shape our thoughts and decisions, we become disembodied from our own experiences and disconnected from each other.

Às vezes, quando ousamos caminhar na arena da vida, o maior crítico que enfrentamos somos nós mesmos.

In a world where perfectionism, pleasing, and proving are used as armor to protect our egos and our feelings, it takes a lot of courage to show up and be all in when we can't control the outcome. It also takes discipline and self-awareness to understand what to share and with whom. Vulnerability is not oversharing, it's sharing with people who have earned the right to hear our stories and our experiences.

Be brave" is tied to the courage-building work presented in this book. Here is an example of three behaviors that support that value: I set clear boundaries with others. I lean into difficult conversations, meetings, and decisions. I talk to people, not about them.

Toni Morrison wrote, "Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined," and I learned that I must redefine what I believe is valuable and make sure I'm included within that definition.

I'm not suggesting that we worry about worry, but it's helpful to recognize that worrying is not a helpful coping mechanism, that we absolutely can learn how to control it, and that rather than suppressing worry, we need to dig into and address the emotion driving the thinking.

What we don't see is that using vulnerability is not the same thing as being vulnerable; it's the opposite—it's armor.

What I've learned from the research and my own experiences is that the rising strong process deepens our wholeheartedness, but it often feels like a good, hearty tired.

What makes this more difficult is that now we have a new level of awareness about what it means to be brave. We can't fake it anymore. We now know when we're showing up and when we're hiding out, when we are living our values and when we are not.

First, when we're feeling that edge, instead of asking ourselves "What's the quickest way to make these feelings go away?," ask, "What are these feelings and where did they come from?

Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to someone you live. Most of us shame, belittle and criticize ourselves in ways we'd never think of doing to others. I would never look at Ellen or Charlie and say, "God, you're so stupid!" Yet I can whisper that to myself in a heartbeat. p158

We're big believers in "What's my part?

I can recognize shame when it's happening.

What emerged from the data on numbing was exactly what Louden speaks to: "It's not what you do; it's why you do it that makes the difference." The invitation is to think about the intention behind our numbing choices and, if helpful, to discuss these issues with family, close friends, or a helping professional.

in this perception-driven world, the big question is always: Are you setting goals and expectations that are completely outside of your control?

When we stop numbing and start feeling and learning again, we have to reevaluate everything, especially how to

So the next time you're shutting down or angry, ask yourself what lies beneath.

If we find ourselves addressing the same problematic behaviors over and over, we may need to dig deeper to the thinking and feeling driving those behaviors.

Developing our empathy skills is not easy. Shame is a complex problem that requires a complex solution. Each of the four attributes of empathy requires us to know ourselves, act authentically and engage with others using our minds and our hearts. This act of empathy produces resilience to shame by countering fear and disconnection.

Fess up to experiencing shame or admit that you're a sociopath. Quick note: This is the only time that shame seems like a good option.

We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.