Quotes About Self-awareness

When will I learn to quit fighting lions?

Anger, rage, complaining, and whining are clues to boundaries we need to set.

We're so careful to see that no one gets hurt. No one, that is, but ourselves. —AL-ANON MEMBER

An unexamined life isn't worth living, or so they say. The problem with living up to other people's expectations too much is that it doesn't leave us time to have a life. Take a moment. Ask yourself this question, and don't be afraid to look deeply: Are you allowing someone else's expectations to control your life? Examine the expectations you're living up to; then live by your own inner guide.

Each person's feelings are his or her own. Nobody makes

Learn the words: I feel. Let others say those words and learn to listen—not fix—when they do.

Melody Beattie

When a codependent discontinued his or her relationship with a troubled person, the codependent frequently sought another troubled person and repeated the codependent behaviors with that new person. These behaviors, or coping mechanisms, seemed to prevail throughout the codependent's life—if that person didn't change these behaviors.

Guilt and shame are not useful as a way of life. Stop the "shoulds." Become aware of when we're punishing and torturing ourselves and make a concerted effort to tell ourselves positive messages. If we should be doing something, do it. If we're torturing ourselves, stop it. It gets easier.

OBSESSION Codependents

Most recovering addicts and alcoholics have codependency underneath.

Before I list the things codependents tend to do, however, I will make an important point: Having these problems does not mean we're bad, defective, or inferior. Some of us learned these behaviors as children. Other people learned them later in life. We may have learned some of these things from our interpretation of religion. Some women were taught these behaviors were desirable feminine attributes. Wherever we learned to do these things, most of us learned our lessons well.

Not being centered in ourselves and not feeling emotionally secure with ourselves may trap us.3 We may become afraid to terminate relationships that are dead and destructive. We may allow people to hurt and abuse us, and that is never in our best interest.

We frequently react to people who are destroying themselves; we react by learning to destroy ourselves.

1. Finish business from our childhoods, as best as we can. Grieve. Get some perspective. Figure out how events from our childhoods are affecting what we're doing now.

Overreacting may impair our mental functioning. Decisiveness is hindered by worrying about what other people think, telling ourselves we have to be perfect, and telling ourselves to hurry. We falsely believe we can't make the "wrong" choice, we'll never have another chance, and the whole world waits and rises on this particular decision. We don't have to do these things to ourselves.

often seek love from people incapable of loving. believe

The codependents in my life didn't understand me, and the misunderstanding was mutual. I didn't understand me, and I didn't understand them.

Today, I will practice loving self-care.

We need to know how far we'll go, and how far we'll allow others to go with us. Once we understand this, we can go anywhere. —Beyond Codependency

Feeling hurt does not have to be so frightening. We do not have to work so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun as feeling happy, they are, still, just feelings.

Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. Real power comes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when we feel emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.

Today, I will identify what I want and need; then, I'll be willing to let go of it. I will devote my energy to living my life today, so I may master my lessons as quickly as possible. I will trust that what I want and need is coming to me. I will let go of my need to control the details.

We don't have to analyze or justify our feelings. We need to feel them, and try not to let them control our behavior.