Quotes About Quote

We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now.

Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing

Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion.

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

You get fifteen Democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions

He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend - provided, of course, that he really is dead.

(Twain on Cain): it was his misfortune to live in a dark age that knew not the beneficent Insanity Plea.

The enemy of society is middle class and the enemy of life is middle age.

Filth and old age, I'm sure you will agree, are powerful wardens upon chastity.

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety, other women cloy.

This is the curse of our age, that even the strangest aberrations are no cure for boredom.

Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together.

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to Fifteen go to work. Or, as it's called at the Nike factory - Thursday.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'