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Bible, and so the delivery of one of these prizes was a rare and noteworthy circumstance;
~ Mark Twain
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What, warder, ho! the man that can blow so complacent a blast as that, probably blows it from a castle.
~ Mark Twain
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he strode down the street with his mouth full of harmony and his soul full of gratitude. He
~ Mark Twain
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Kill the women? No – nobody ever saw anything in the books like that. You fetch them to the cave, and you're always as polite as pie to them; and by-and-by they fall in love with you and never want to go home any more.
~ Mark Twain
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Tom!" No answer. "Tom!
~ Mark Twain
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But there are some infelicities. Such as 'like' for 'as,' and the addition of an 'at' where it isn't needed. I heard an educated gentleman say, 'Like the flag-officer did.' His cook or his butler would have said, 'Like the flag-officer done.' You hear gentlemen say, 'Where have you been at?
~ Mark Twain
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Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete; that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
~ Mark Twain
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Jimmy Finn was not burned in the calaboose, but died a natural death in a tan vat, of a combination of delirium tremens and spontaneous combustion. When I say natural death, I mean it was a natural death for Jimmy Finn.
~ Mark Twain
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Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
~ Mark Twain
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the very next morning at daylight such parties are sure to be found lying up some back alley, contentedly waiting for the hearse.
~ Mark Twain
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the palace considerable; but the duke stayed huffy a good while
~ Mark Twain
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No! You mean you're the late CHarlemagne; you must be six or seven hundred years old, at the very least. Trouble has done it, Bilgewater, trouble has done it; trouble has brung these gray hairs and this premature balditude.
~ Mark Twain
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If ze zhentlemans will to me make ze grande honneur to me rattain in hees serveece, I shall show to him every sing zat is magnifique to look upon in ze beautiful Parree. I speaky ze Angleesh pairfaitemaw.
~ Mark Twain
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You mean you're the late Charlemagne; you must be six or seven hundred years old, at the very least. Trouble has done it, Bilgewater, trouble has done it; trouble has brung these gray hairs and this premature balditude.
~ Mark Twain
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PERSONS attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. B
~ Mark Twain
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I had nothing to do but listen to the pattering of the fountains and take medicine and throw it up again. It was dangerous recreation, but it was pleasanter than traveling in Syria.
~ Mark Twain
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Light them both —I'll have to have one to see the other by.
~ Mark Twain
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she took me for her son, and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was rough living in the house all the time, considering how dismal regular and decent the widow was in all her ways;
~ Mark Twain
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The quality of mercy . . . is twice blessed; It blesseth him that gives and him that takes; 'Tis mightiest in the mightiest. it becomes The thronèd monarch better than his crown.
~ Mark Twain
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PLAYBOY OF THE WESTERN WORLD AND RIDERS TO THE SEA, J. M. Synge. 80pp. 0-486-27562-0 THE
~ Mark Twain
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Sage went supperless to bed, and tossed and writhed all night upon a shuck mattress that was full of attentive and interested corncobs.
~ Mark Twain
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after which placed their hand on their head, and appeared up closer to the sky, with the tears jogging down, and then busted out and went off sobbing and swabbing, and supply the following female a display. I by no means see anything so disgusting.
~ Mark Twain
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He said: Do you love rats? No! I hate them! Well, I do, too—LIVE ones. But I mean dead ones, to swing round your head with a string.
~ Mark Twain
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I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.
~ Mark Twain
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