Quotes About Faith

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.

Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.

Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain.

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.

President Ford was a devoted, decent man of impeccable integrity who put service to his country before his own self interest. He helped heal our nation during a time of crisis, provided steady leadership and restored people's faith in the presidency and in government.

If that thing's [hibernating alien] god... ...gimme that old time religion

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

A good thing to have up your sleeve is a sanctified funny-bone.

Baptists are only funny underwater.

Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident... you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.

If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny.

Please follow me because I have to follow him and he isn't here.

Zionism and pessimism are not compatible.

To die for an idea is to set a rather high price upon conjecture.

My knees on the ground, dear father, don't let me break, please make me stronger.

They say you can't do it, but sometimes it doesn't always work.

As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.

Liberals have a quaint and touching faith that truth is on their side and an even quainter faith that journalists are on the side of truth.

During the rests - pray.

The Lord turned water into wine. All I'm suggesting is a trip to the grocery store.