Quotes About Etiquette

Did you hear what I was playing, Lane? I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.

LADY BRACKNELL I had some crumpets with Lady Harbury, who seems to me to be living entirely for pleasure now. ALGERNON I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief.

If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation.

Oh! talk to every woman as if you loved her and to every man as if he bored you, and at the end of your first season you will have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact.

If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him.

What is a sensitive person?" said the Cracker to the Roman Candle. "A person who, because he has corns himself, always treads on other people's toes," answered the Roman Candle in a low whisper; and the Cracker nearly exploded with laughter.

I never talk during music--at least, during good music. If one hears bad music, it is one's duty to drown it in conversation.

Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everybody in good society holds exactly the same opinions.

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business.

Hear no evil, speak no evil, and you'll never be invited to a party.

Lady Bracknell.  Good afternoon, dear Algernon, I hope you are behaving very well. Algernon.  I'm feeling very well, Aunt Augusta. Lady Bracknell.  That's not quite the same thing.  In fact the two things rarely go together. 

Do you smoke? Jack.  Well, yes, I must admit I smoke. Lady Bracknell.  I am glad to hear it.  A man should always have an occupation of some kind.  There are far too many idle men in London as it is. 

Have some bread and butter. The bread and butter is for Gwendolen. Gwendolen is devoted to bread and butter.

The St. James's

It feels instinctively that manners are of more importance than morals

Manners before morals!

Do you smoke? Jack.  Well, yes, I must admit I smoke. Lady Bracknell.  I am glad to hear it.  A man should always have an occupation of some kind. 

My dear fellow, the way you flirt with Gwendolen is perfectly disgraceful. It is almost as disgraceful as the way Gwendolen flirts with you.

When you call me that, smile.

Who is he? Nobody! cried Molly, with indignation. Then you shouldn't answer so loud, said the great-aunt

Jeeves, whatever his moral defects, would never go about in skirts calling me Bertie.

What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts

Oh, God, Shannon. You're blowing my mind. Clint's morning voice was rich with passion. I wanted to correct him and explain that it wasn't his mind I was blowing, but my mother had taught me it was impolite to speak when one's mouth was full...