Quotes About Etiquette

I mean, if you're asking a fellow to come out of a room so that you can dismember him with a carving knife, it's absurd to tack a 'sir' on to every sentence. The two things don't go together.

How does he look, Jeeves? Sir? What does Mr Bassington-Bassington look like? It is hardly my place, sir, to criticize the facial peculiarities of your friends.

There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter.

The exquisite code of politeness of the Woosters prevented me clipping her one on the ear-hole, but I would have given a shilling to be able to do it. There seemed to me something deliberately fat-headed in the way she persisted in missing the gist.

We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight.

You can't tell me if there are any special subjects to avoid when talking to him, can you?' 'Special subjects?' 'Well, you know how it is with a stranger. You say it's a fine day, and he goes all white and tense, because you've reminded him that it was on a fine day that his wife eloped with the chauffeur.

Aunts Aren't Gentlemen

Did you ever tread on your partner's dress at a dance - I'm speaking now of the days when women wore dresses long enough to be trodden on - and hear it rip and see her smile at you like an angel and say, Please don't apologise. It's nothing, and then suddenly meet her clear blue eyes and feel as if you had stepped on the teeth of a rake and had the handle jump up and hit you in the face?

One more toot--just one single, solitary suggestion of the faintest shadow or suspicion of anything remotely approaching a toot--and may the Lord have mercy on your soul.

Science, with a thousand triumphs to her credit, has not yet succeeded in discovering the correct reply for a young man to make who finds himself in the appalling position of being apologized to by a pretty girl.

Well, if he comes when I'm out, tell him to wait. And now, Jeeves, mes gants, mon chapeau, et le whangee de monsieur. I must be popping.

All nice girls sketch a little.

I don't mind people talking rot in my presence, but it must not be utter rot.

What ho!' I said. 'What ho!' said Motty. 'What ho! What ho!' 'What ho! What ho! What ho!' After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

Well, everybody seems to be doing it, I said, so I suppose I had better make the thing unanimous. Here's a fiver. Why, thank you, sir. This is extremely - It won't seem much compared with these vast sums you've been acquiring. Oh, I assure you, sir. And I don't know why I'm giving it to you. No, sir. Still, there it is. Thank you very much, sir.

You don't need a hat to tax a man with stealing a pig,' said the Hon. Galahad, who was well versed in the manners and rules of good society.

Won't you have an egg or something? Or a sausage or something? Or something?' 'No, thank you.' She spoke as if she belonged to an anti-sausage society or a league for the suppression of eggs. .. There was another slightly frappe silence.

Bertie, it is imperative that you marry. But, dash it all... Yes! You should be breeding children to... No, really, I say, please! I said, blushing richly. Aunt Agatha belongs to two or three of these women's clubs, and she keeps forgetting she isn't in the smoking-room.

What ho!" I said. "What ho!" said Motty. "What ho! What ho!" "What ho! What ho! What ho!" After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

He coughed again, that deferential cough of his which sounds like a well-bred sheep clearing its throat on a distant mountain-top.

Sir Jasper Finch-Farrowmere?' said Wilfred. 'ffinch-ffarrowmere,' corrected the visitor, his sensitive ear detecting the capitals.

Do you realize a fraction of the awful things you have let me in for? How on earth am I to remember whether I go in before the chef or after the footman? I shan't have a peaceful minute while I'm in this place.

Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably. 'Go to hell!' said Bill. 'Right-ho,' said his lordship.

I suppose you haven't breakfasted?" "I have not yet breakfasted." "Won't you have an egg or something? Or a sausage or something? Or something?" "No, thank you." She spoke as if she belonged to an anti-sausage society or a league for the suppression of eggs. There was a bit of a silence.