Quotes About Truth

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

Trust me, Wilbur. People are very gullible. They'll believe anything they see in print.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.

That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must first break your mirror

Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.

I'm not completely sure we aren't all living in a hallucination now.

Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.

Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.

Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.

Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

The ironic humor comes from the distance between what we understand about ourselves and what is truly going on in ourselves.

Nothing is better than the unintended humor of reality.

Justice will prevail!

Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up.