Quotes About Health

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist begin to change places.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

In the middle ages, people took potions for their ailments. In the 19th century they took snake oil. Citizens of today's shiny, technological age are too modern for that. They take antioxidants and extract of cactus instead.

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to button the top button, failing vision, shortness of breath, a tendency of the collar to shut off all breathing, trembling of the kidneys to whatever tune the orchestra is playing, and a general sense of giddiness when the matter of rent is brought up. Forty is Life's Golden Age.

I view the tea-drinking as a destroyer of health, an enfeebler of the frome, an engender of effeminacy and laziness, a debaucher of youth and maker of misery for old age.

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.

Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty; for in my youth I never did apply hot and rebellious liquors in my blood; and did not, with unbashful forehead, woo the means of weakness and debility; therefore, my age is as a lusty winter, frosty but k.

Age-based retirement arbitrarily severs productive persons from their livelihood, squanders their talents, scars their health, strains an already overburdened Social Security system, and drives many elderly people into poverty and despair. Ageism is as odious as racism and sexism.

I've honestly not been too aware of my age until I went to the doctor for a full check-up. He said I had the heart of a young man - 'but you're not young, you're 40.

The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

It is unthinkable for a Frenchman to arrive at middle age without having syphilis and the Cross of the Legion of Honor.

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete.

I am of a healthy long lived race, and our minds improve with age.

The body is at its best between the ages of thirty and thirty-five; the mind is at its best about the age of forty-nine.

Age does not depend upon years, but upon temperament and health. Some men are born old, and some never grow so.

Old age is not a disease - it is strength and survivorship, triumph over all kinds of vicissitudes and disappointments, trials and illnesses.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.