Quotes About Health

She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook, and a good digestion.

Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave -- but there's no need to be in the passing lane.

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

All diseases run into one, old age.

When you become senile, you won't know it.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to be leglislation against it.

People say that age is just a state of mind. I say it's more about the state of your body.

You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.

I'm so old they've canceled my blood type.

The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.