Quotes About Health

All I pay my psychiatrist is the cost of feed and hay, and he'll listen to me any day.

Gladness of the heart is the life of a man, and the joyfulness of a man prolongeth his days.

Smiling is my favorite exercise.

Flies spread disease — keep yours zipped.

Personal protective equipment is self-defense.

Q: How do bunnies stay healthy? A: Egg-xercise!

Commit to be fit.

Being in a good frame of mind helps keep one in the picture of health.

Asthma is a disease that has practically the same symptoms as passion except that with asthma it lasts longer.

Breast milk is better than any udder milk!

[Bottle feeding] also made a fetish out of cleanliness, and maybe all the washing and scrubbing has further reduced the pleasure we take in our body and in life.

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.

If I stitch fast enough, does it count as aerobic exercise?

Practice safe eating — always use condiments.

Hugging has no unpleasant side effects and is all natural. There are no batteries to replace, it's inflation-proof and non-fattening with no monthly payments. It's non-taxable, non-polluting, and is, of course, fully refundable.

The only exercise I take is acting as pall-bearer to my friends who have indulged in strenuous exercise!

Breastfeeding is nature's health plan.

You don't have to brush your teeth — just the ones you want to keep.

The Lord hath created medicines out of the earth; and he that is wise will not abhor them.

Don't drink coffee in the morning. It will keep you awake until noon.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

In the nineteenth century men lost their fear of God and acquired a fear of microbes.

Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't? Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator.

I was reading this really interesting article in the American Psychiatric Journal.... research shows that going to church actually boosts your immune system, decreases your blood pressure, and reduces stress. It's kind of like an antioxidant from God.