Quotes About Understanding

This "mind-mindedness" should be apparent in the way we think about and talk to the one we want to help and on how we think about and talk to each other. It is about curiosity and flexibility. It is about how we deal with crises and how we reflect about them. It is about supervision, exercises, role-play and video. It is about a minimum goal of common understanding, good management and a good working milieu.

Therapy" can go on for weeks, months, sometimes even years, in the pretend mode of psychic reality, where internal states are discussed at length, sometimes with excessive detail and complexity yet no progress is made, and no real understanding is experienced. Ideas do not form a satisfactory bridge between inner and outer reality, and affects do not accompany thoughts. Such phenomena are extremely well known from clinical work with eating disorders.

People always knew more than you gave them credit for. Perhaps, in the end, no one had any secrets at all.

When you get right down to it, we don't ever want to know one another too well. We want there to be that mystery. Where there's mystery, there's hope.

I think good conversation is really the best form of sex.

Was there anything quite so painful, so fraught with the possibilities of hurt, as gift giving within a family?

In the days before people asked questions of every innocent thing, before this relentless need to name, to label, to categorize. People had understood that life might be rich, complicated, ambiguous.

a few explanations, to enable him with thorough understanding to judge of my manner of viewing the subject.

You seem to like everybody. It's unnatural. It's also unfortunate. You're going to waste so much time before you've worked out who the people are it's worth your while to know.

He said history was a sum of situations whose significance was never seen until long afterwards because people had been afraid to act them out. They couldn't face up to their responsibility for them. They preferred to think of the situations they found themselves in as part of a general drift of events they had no control over, which meant that they never really understood those situations, and so in a curious way the situations did become part of a general drift of events.

The structure of a friendship is seldom submitted to analysis until it comes under pressure;

How are we to become native to this land?" (as quoted in Trespass: Living at the Edge of the Promised Land by Amy Irvine)

in order to be comfortable with other people, you have to be comfortable with yourself.

Judging others and being quick to criticize just pollutes your life. Learning how to open your hand is the best thing you can possibly learn.

I'd like to hear your opinion on this piece of Beethoven. And remember, it is not Beethoven who is being examined here.

Plotinus had been born in Alexandria at the beginning of the third century A.D. Like many brilliant critics, he thought he understood what he had read better than the author himself.

At the higher realms of rationality, even reason can begin to appear irrational.

When I was thirty I began my life; at forty I was self-assured; at fifty I understood my place in the vast scheme of things; at sixty I learned to give up arguing; and now at seventy I can do whatever I like without disrupting my life.

conscientia,

The only thing that helps me get less angry is when my husband says to me, "I know you are scared, not angry" and gives me a

didn't cause it. I can't control it. I can't cure it. get off the BP's back. get out of the BP's way. get on with your own life.

Describe the situation as you see it without exaggerating, making judgments, or explaining how you feel about it.

Don't counterattack. You may strike back at the person with BPD to try to win the argument or vent your feelings. But when you do this, you'll fall into the projection and projective identification trap that the person with BPD has unconsciously set for you.

So I decided to write my own self-help book. Because BPD affects six million people in North America, I figured that at least eighteen million family members, partners, and friends—like me—were blaming themselves for behavior that had little to do with them.