Quotes About Quips

Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit.

I enjoy taking people on on Twitter, because often I'm cleverer and funnier.

But did he then love God, or was it only the music, as an impudent priest said to him one day in jest, without thinking of the unhappiness which his quip might cause in him? Anybody else would not have paid any attention to it, and would not have changed his mode of living--(so many people put up with not knowing what they think!) But Christophe was cursed with an awkward need for sincerity, which filled him with scruples at every turn. And when scruples came to him they possessed him forever.

I like parting shots; you can't take them seriously and they're often pretty funny.

Kids do say the darndest things

I wish I had the ability to crack wise, generally. You know, without getting punched. There's no way I could do it while getting beaten up. Definitely.

I'm slightly obsessed with drag queens and performers. Their quips and their one-liners, their style, their singing... I find it fascinating. And thoroughly entertaining. I'd love to play one.

He spoke before she could quite stop laughing and sink him with a comeback. And he was certain, even on brief acquaintance, that she could indeed sink him with a comeback.

Ever notice how really smart people enjoy making silly jokes?

My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it.'

Reed Scott is really good at coming up with insults.

He could send a glass eye to sleep.

For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets.

One woman even disparaged Johnson for failing to include obscenities. "No, Madam, I hope I have not daubed my fingers," he replied, archly. "I find, however, that you have been looking for them.

Evelyn: Patience is a virtue... Rick: Not right now, it isn't.

Trump: "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd poison your tea!" Clinton: "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd drink it!"

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN

I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke.

You have to be highly intelligent to get away with a dumb joke. That takes a pretty smart fella.

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.

Older British observers complained, "The trouble with you Yanks is that you are overpaid, oversexed, and over here." (To which the Yanks would reply, "The trouble with you Limeys is that you are underpaid, undersexed, and under Eisenhower.")

You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn.'

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.