Quotes About Christopher Moore

This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?

The only thing that matters to me about my stories is that they're entertaining and they're funny. And I tend to get bored easily, so I generally throw something supernatural in. I would say they're humorous novels that have a supernatural bent, but that's as close as you're going to get to fitting them all in the same basket.

I thought I was going to be a horror story writer. My influences were horror writers, like Rich Matheson, Ray Bradbury and Bram Stoker.

As much as I encourage communication with my readers, I don't want reviews from them, simply because I don't need to be hamstrung in the middle of working on something.

And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.

But she's a redhead, so she's probably evil, even at her tender age. I thought you liked redheads. I do. What's your point?

You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong? Charlie: No, no, I'm okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, it's unsettling.

I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir, may I offer you this moist, yet helpless va-jay-jay that seems to have lost its way. -The Chronicles of Abby Normal

I'll bet he was myrrh. Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me.

Ydych chi'n cymryd cerdynnau credid? said the highwayman, no doubt trying to frighten me further, his consonants chained like anal beads strung out of hell's own bunghole.

The bat was looking at Theo and Theo was having trouble following his own thoughts.The bat was wearing tiny sunglasses.Ray Bans,Theo could see by the trademark in the corner of one lens.I'm sorry, Mr.,uh- Case, could you take the bat off your head.It's very distracting. Him. Pardon? It's a him.Roberto.He no like the light.

And he was like The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk - -Abby

Your puny worm god weapons are useless against my superior Christmas Kung Fu.

You are my desire. Eating your luscious love thoughts My Junk Just Dropped Off

Green eggs, or not green eggs? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to eat them in a box, with a fox—

bet he was myrrh," said Josh. "Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me. My mother told me the myrrh went bad after a week too." Did I mention that Joshua was not a myrrh fan?

It is accepted science that God himself gave the French the gift of their cuisine, and while he was downstairs, cursed the English with theirs.

Okey dokey, fire up the blender, let's make a furry-flurry smoothie out of that squirrel!

Rivera rubbed his temples. Satan told you to do it? he said wearily. No. Elvis? I told you, it's supernatural.

He had a plan—and a bus pass with four more days left on it—so this son of a bitch had picked the wrong guy to fuck with.

Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging

Take a moment to catch your breath and revel in your rhetorical mastery and achievement.

The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.

An air force general with so many campaign medals on his uniform that it looked like someone was losing a game of mah-jongg on his chest.